Gratitude and Sadness all mushed together

So there are a couple things I have been thinking about lately. I'm not so good at organizing my thoughts as anyone who's read this probably already knows, so expect some scattered thoughts. Last night as we were eating...I realized how grateful I am to have such a great and loving family. Without them, I know I would be struggling immensely. I know I have a safe haven there and it has given me alot of reassurance.

Between two qoutes, celeb gossip and recently obtaining my patriarchical (sp?) blessing (PB) after not having it for nearly 10 years...I have a different outlook on marriage. On one side, I truly ache for when I have someone to love. I see happy families all around and at times I do wonder who on earth would be crazy enough to be able to put up with me and my crazy boys. But then I see the two qoutes....

Both of these pretty much sum up what I want in a man...and make me realize that I deserve nothing less than that. And I am willing to wait to have those blessings come to me. How does celeb gossip come into to play? I'm sure anyone who keeps up with the news knows the big marriage of Kim K lasted a whole 72 days. It took longer to plan the wedding than the actual marriage actually lasted. This isn't new...there are several celebs out there who have marriages that end as quickly as that one, and sometimes even more quickly. The sacred institute of marriage has been completely bashed apart and destroyed by society. People pretty much assume that they will have 2 or 3 marriages and hopefully it all works out eventually. What happened to sticking it out in hard times and in good times? What happened to working out problems together instead of just getting divorced? It didn't hit me until all of the buzz about that divorce has been flying around. Its sad. Seriously.
The PB made me tells me that in time a boy will take me to the temple. When I am looking, I need to look for someone who has a strong testimony, a love of the church and wants the same end result as me (eternal family). If I am faithful, this will happen. But I need to be prepared for him as well....and thats the part I need to work on. I don't think I'm quite prepared yet. And...I'm willing to wait until I find that person. No matter how envious I get when I see happy couples....I will be remembering that I have a wonderful man waiting for me, I just need to get prepared so that when the time is right, I'll be ready.

Enough of marriage and love. The housing industry is killing me right now. More than ever I see politicans coming out with things that are completely ridiculous, just to boost their ratings. For instance, I posted yesterday about the foreclosure reviews. Fantastic idea and I encourage people to look into it. However after listening to a conference call on the subject...they said the benefit was "having someone take a second look." No compensation has been determined, they aren't prepared for the overload of people who will most likely want to have their accounts looked at, and they are expecting to pay third party sources for the review but want the housing agencies who are starting to shut down for lack of funding take time out to find these people, help with the paperwork, and follow through....yet they won't give us any compensation. At all. So to me, this is just another political program that will not work but is put out so that someone in DC can look good. I really hope I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. This is a program that has good intentions but is being rolled out before its ready. The OCC figured we'd have their backs and be all excited...which we are to a point...but not when it means additional work for us and no outcome or extra pay. That not only makes their program ridiculous, but it makes us seem uneducated. Bad news on all fronts.

My last thought is about the school/work dynamic. I feel like I'm in limbo and I don't like it. I want to know whats going on so that I can plan. Its coming time to register for classes, and if I have to find a full time job and leave school, I don't want to register. However if I delay much longer then I will miss the classes I need if I do end up staying. I feel strongly I need to stay, so thats the route I'm taking for now. But I can't survive on my good looks....so somethings got to give. Maybe I'll win the lotto. Or the PCH. I have been entering daily in hopes. :)

Work related...

Today is a short but sweet post in relation to foreclosure.
If anyone is/has been in the foreclosure process or KNOWS anyone who is/has been in the foreclosure process and "who may have been financially injured due to errors, misrepresentations, or other deficiencies in their foreclosure process between January 1, 2009 and December 31, 2010"....please check out Independent Foreclosure Review. Here you will give the specifications of how to submit the application, who qualifies, and what Lenders are participating. Things are still rather vague....however its worth looking into. Please please pass this information along so people who were wronged can get a second look into their case.

Thank you!

Holy Smokes!

This weekend was a very, very busy one....also very fun albeit but very busy! Friday we went to a Halloween party that my friend was putting on for the kids. The boys had soo much fun and they ended up with some prizes and Ry won best costume! They had  ball. But we didn't get home until 10ish pm and desperately needed showers....so the heads didn't hit the bed until around 11 pm. Very late night indeed.

The next morning, Ty and Ryder were all sorts of excited to go to the Sheep Parade and get our day started. Nate...not so much. He decided he wanted to sleep instead so...we left him home. We were about 15 minutes late but we still got to see some fantastic tractors and sheep of course!



Awesome steam tractor thing



After the parade, we picked up Nate and went to the tailgating party that was going on at the university. The boys got their faces painted and were all set for the game. The boys ended up only lasting until about 10 minutes before half time before they were bored and tired and hungry, so we ended up leaving. But SUU was up by 14 when we left...so I'm hoping they ended up winning. Go SUU!



Not sure what Nate was thinking...but ok

Sunday was our fun family Halloween party. We ate some yummy philly cheesesteak sandwiches and then it was time for some games. We played a tossing game, pin the nose on the pumpkin, ring toss and got to break a pinata! I have tons of pictures...but for some reason they aren't wanting to get off my phone and on to my email....so I will have to post them later if I remember. However the few that did transfer over were great (and coincidentally...my favorite pics of the night).

*Not sure if the movie will work...so if not I'll youtube it then add it again*



All the kids dressed up

 


Grandpa and Grandma enjoying the festivities

 Tonight....we have alot of options. The office girls and I are meeting up to take the kids to our elderly/disabled tenants after work, sometime tonight we are going to go trick or treating with our friends Tyler, Mande and Emma, and the possibility of seeing Paranormal Activity 4 (thats not going to include the kids...for obvious reasons....).



via google images

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Big decisions

So I really wish that before you start your schooling career, you would be required to take the Academic Probation course. Why? Because I had some insight yesterday that I thought I'd share. As many may know (since I talk about it on here a lot) the only  two classes I find I'm struggling in are the only two classes I'm taking this semester that go towards my major. At first I figured I was just out of touch with going to school...which I still believe to an extent....but the thought of taking more accounting classes and econ classes makes me kind of want to puke. Mostly because I know I will struggle with them. Well in the Academic Probation class I have, we had a counselor from the Career Cafe give a guest presentation yesterday on why it's important you find your purpose. The counselor was in Corporate America for like 26 years. He got paid bank, got to travel to 21 different countries, lived the life of luxury....all that great stuff. But he hated it. To the point it made him physically ill. So that made me think about why I decided to choose what I did. I think the reason I chose Business Management is because I like the status that gives and the wages. Not because I'd enjoy the work. The more I think about a career in Business, the less and less I think I'm in the right major. However...registration for classes starts soon, and I've been stressing because another semester of business classes that I know I will struggle in and possibly not pass means that I could possibly be on academic probation AGAIN and could possibly be kicked out of school and forced to take a year break before coming back. I REALLY don't want that to happen. So, I've made an appointment with the career counselor for a session that I'm sure will be enlightening. It will be 1 1/2 hrs of I'm assuming self assessments, looks into careers that could happen with different majors and where I would fit in best. I do have to say I'm rather excited for this, as I'm hoping I can find a major that will fit me and what I want to accomplish in my life. And the plus side... some of the majors don't require any classes over 1030 which is Quantitative Reasoning. I'd be happy for that, since math isn't my strongest trait.

I also am having big time stress over what to do about jobs. The way it looks, I will not have a job after Dec 31. Funding just isn't there and that's that. Its life. In my experience, most jobs don't provide much flexibility for school, so this has made me wonder what I should do. Should I find a full time job and quit school...or keep going to school and pray something comes up that will work with schedules and live off of my grants/tax returns until I do find something? If I was single and had no kids, it would be an obvious choice. But my number one concern is being able to support my kids. However in the long run, getting my degree will give me a career...which just hopping from job to job won't do. So I don't know. I'm hoping some divine inspiration will come to me and tell me what to do. As of right now... I plan on staying in school and praying like no other that I'm able to make it. Cross your fingers for me and send good mojo....now is definitely a time when I will need it.

FHE

Yesterday was a good goal day. I ate awesome the entire day and only went over by 100ish calories....but even that didn't matter at the end of the day. We had fish and rice for dinner at the boys gobbled it up. Then I decided we would get a jump start on FHE. I didn't realize (yes I'm a slacker) that Nate is old enough to work on his Faith in God. So last night was the first installment of getting the basics down. We all have charts we get to check off every time we accomplish one of the basics. Ty was being a stinker so I got distracted and wasn't able to go over the charts as well as I wanted, but I'm thinking we will do that tonight. And get a prize for whomever does the best on their charts. Afterwards, we made some witches hats (thanks for the inspiration Mom!) and the boys loved it.

Group shot...sorry Nate I thought you were in it more...

Nates finished product



Ryder working on it




Ty eating more frosting than decorating...


And I didn't eat any at that time. I was super proud of myself. It was very messy, so after everyone was done eating their hats they jumped in the shower and got jammies on. We have started a new bedtime routine where we shower, get jammies on, choose two books to read then read a chapter out of the scriptures. We are making a goal to finish the Book of Mormon. I have no idea if this will be beneficial to them or not, and they seem bored most the time, but we are going to finish it anyway.

After everyone was in bed, I busted out 2 miles on the treadmill (woot woot!) and ended up with a surplus of 77 cals for the day.... so what do I do? Grab a couple Hersheys Kisses. Mmmm. But even then I still ended up with 17 extra cals. I would call that a great day.

I even got some studying done. I read Part A of my accounting chapter. Tonight, I need to dedicate myself to a whole chapter. Because my next test opens up this Friday....so I better get on it. I feel better about this one though because I'm actually understanding the concepts better.

So I say the day was a WIN! Amazing what happens when you stop worrying about what you don't have and focus on the awesomeness that you do have....

Some {Worthy} Insight

This weekend was filled with good things. On Saturday I got determined and decided I was going to find a way to get my treadmill in my apartment and put somewhere where I could use it. I'm sure Dad was probably thinking "Oh boy here we go again..." but I promise that is the last time I move that treadmill until I buy a house or get married. I fully intend on staying where I am at until that time. Moving that thing is quite the feat, it is not "light weight and easy to move!" as the sales rep pitched me. Anyway...we got it torn apart and moved up into my apartment. It has a new home in my dining room right by the windows. And I will be using it. Every day.
Sunday I had a hard day in church. Sacrament meeting was full of constant fights and bickering between the boys, Ryder disobeying me and then LAUGHING when I'd scowl at him or tell him to be quiet. It was horrid. Then the sweet relief of Sunday School and kids going to Primary relieved me. In Relief Society the lesson was on the April 2011 Priesthood Power talk given by President Monson in the Priesthood session. I dunno if it was just the day, or the fact that the teacher is this amazing girl...but it struck a cord. She told a story of a girl who, despite her best efforts, was having a really hard time finding a good man. She dated a string of return missionaries who she thought would be spiritually sound, however that couldn't have been farther from the truth. She was at her darkest point and figured there were no worthy priesthood holders left. They were kinda like the Easter Bunny, you've heard of him but he's non-existent.
So the teacher left the story there for a moment and got into the talk.
Some points that really stood out for me were some quotes that were given. The first being:

"Choose a companion carefully and prayerfully; and when you are married, be fiercely loyal one to another. Priceless advice comes from a small framed plaque I once saw in the home of an uncle and aunt. It read, “Choose your love; love your choice.” There is great wisdom in those few words. Commitment in marriage is absolutely essential."


How true is that? Choose your love; love your choice. Even in the hard times, realize you chose to marry that person for a reason. And another:
President Howard W. Hunter said this about marriage: “Being happily and successfully married is generally not so much a matter of marrying the right person as it is being the right person.” I like that. “The conscious effort to do one’s part fully is the greatest element contributing to success.”

Another wise saying. Instead of focusing on the other persons faults and whats making you mad...focus on changing something in yourself to make the other person feel a little more special.
At the end of the talk she let us know that she was the girl from the story. She was the one who thought it was a hopeless cause. But, she didn't waiver in her beliefs and she got rewarded with a fantastic husband who loves and cares for her. I guess that's a sure fire sign. It also makes me realize that I need to make sure I am worthy to support the man I hopefully eventually end up marrying. And I'm not quite there yet. But I'm getting closer.
The talk is a fantastic one for both men and women, so I highly advise reading it if you have the chance. You can find it here. It gives sound advice on ways to improve your marriage as well if you find things are getting a little volatile.
So....here is to a good week ya'll. And happy marriages to those of you who have one. :)

Good times....

After a bit of a whiney butt day.....it was brightened up a bit when we were able to go swimming after work yesterday. Ryder for some reason had anxiety which is odd, because he's been there about a billion times so I dunno why the big bucket of water dumping caused him soo much grief. But it did...whatever. And it was all fun and games until someone pooped in the pool. So we really only got like 30-45 minutes swim time, but that was plenty for me. Then Grandma invited us to go to McDonalds for dinner and it was a welcome invitation as I really wasn't feeling up to cooking...even if I looked like a hot mess.

I have missed my friend D terribly the last while and haven't gotten to see her since going to her house in July (totally my fault since I've been hermiting myself a bit) so when I got her text asking if we could come visit for a minute since they had something for me...I was all over it. We had a good talk and the boys got to play with the kids there. I got to see her very adorable prego daughter and sis in law, both of whom I love to death and also haven't seen in ages....and we got our invites to their Halloween party and Baby Shower. The thing I like about D...and my other two lovies I got to see tonight....is that we are those special kinds of friends who can go for months without talking then pick right up again when we see each other. I always know they've got my back and I hope they know I've got theirs too.

So we were a bit tired and got home a bit later than I'd hoped....but it was totally worth it for the fun evening we had of spending
time with family and friends.

I've been coming across some blogs of friends from high school and it's been neat to see how their lives are going. Its also given me a bit of the green eyed monster of jealousy for those that have escaped Utah and are having all sorts of adventures in places like New York City. But...I am thankful for what I have and for having my family close by. So I will just live vicariously through them for awhile.

And its almost the weekend. I'm looking forward to being able to lounge around and get some laundry done. Weird...I think I'm getting old. I'm also planning on hitting the books so that I can possibly not fail this semester. Accounting is starting to make a bit more sense, but my Econ math is completely throwing me off. Practice practice practice I suppose....


Have a good weekend ya'll!

Randomness

I'm not entirely sure what to write today. I'm being a bit bi-polar at the moment. Obviously...cause its not noticable or anything...anyway. I want change, I'm just unsure about how to go about getting it to happen. Silly huh? I'm having a hard time implementing because I am a person who doesn't like to wait to see results. I want to know for sure SOMETHING needs to change though because I'm stuck in a rut. I'm thinking this weekend is going to be used as a planning weekend.

In other news....I wrote up a guest column for my friend Derek Morton who runs the Cedar City Real Estate 411 site. You can read it here. I think it turned out okay....we shall see how the community responds.

One more tangent.....
Have you guys heard of the series The Second City Network? I recently found them on Youtube and the videos crack me up. They ring true sadly....but still funny. The series I watched was about what Disney Princess characters are teaching young girls. Some of the videos leaned towards the more vulgar side....so just know that going into it. They have other stuff too, but I've yet to watch them.

Ok I guess thats all for today. Check out my post...let me know what you think. Thanks :)

Countdowns....

COUNTDOWN TO HALLOWEEN.........12 DAYS

COUNTDOWN TO THANKSGIVING..........36 DAYS

COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS........61 DAYS












COUNTDOWN TO NEW YEARS.............68 DAYS



















Just sayin........ :)

Halloweeny

So its time for a little positive. I'm still feeling weighed down and bummed with my life, but I also need to focus on the fun happy times. This weekend...it was getting ready for Halloween time! The boys and I went shopping for costumes and we found some great ones if I do say so myself. But they are a secret. I'll take lots of pictures I promise :)
We then decided it was pumpkin carving time. We have been growing pumpkins and Grandpa and Grandmas house, and they were ready to go so the boys picked out the ones they wanted and off we went. This year I splurged and got a pumpkin carving kit and it was the best thing I could've done. The boys were super crafty and of course chose some of the hardest designs. But I think they turned out cute.


Nate jabbing his punkin




Ty cutting the top off




Ry just kinda staring.....he "helped" me




The boys all working on their pumpkins




The finished product...my Ryder's cat, Nate's spider and Tyler's ghost.

They are already starting to shrivel, so we might have to get bigger pumkins that we can space the designs out on so they don't get all wrinkley so fast.

Tonight we are going to go participate in the ward service project. My boys need to learn to serve I think. And there are donuts and hot chocolate being served afterwards. Thats always a bonus I think. We will see how much the boys gripe...but hopefully they enjoy it more so than think its a pain.