Its Friday Friday Friday....

I am SOOO irritated that I STILL cannot comment on my own blog or anyone elses that is part of the blogsphere. I have no idea whats up but I promise when I get comments and don't answer back I'm not being unappreciative...I just literally cannot comment back. But I love when I get them so please keep it up! :)

Tomorrow is weigh in. This week I've done good. I've only gone over my points for WW once...and it was only 8 points. I've had 2 big (not just a bite) treats that I can remember....a sweet roll to celebrate the events of Wednesday, and a small piece of a tenants birthday cake yesterday. And even with those....I was still under my daily points. I've also jogged/walked at least 1.5 miles every night this week except Sunday and Wednesday (I moved furniture around in my bedroom Wednesday...it counts for something). Lets hope that this week is the week I break 20!

I also need to get over my obsession with cute wedding pictures. Yeah...I feel like I'm pregnant again (I'm not....wooo scared ya for a min huh!) because I was a slight bit obsessive over baby shows, baby pictures, baby everything. I LOVED watching A Baby Story on TLC. But after the baby was here...that all went away. Now....my obsession is with weddings and cute couples. I'm sure it will go away if/when I find my man....but for now....I keep browsing and hoping I find him soon and swooning over super cute and adorable pictures.

I had lunch with my mom, SIL Betsy and a family friend Bonnie yesterday at the Pizza Factory. It was such a great lunch with yummy food and fantastic company. I hope we keep this as a tradition....it sure was good to get out and spend time with them. And the salad was delicious. Absolutely delicious. Had loads of lettuce of course, chicken, croutons, parmeson cheese, bowtie pasta, tomatoes and mushrooms (that I picked off of course) and I had mine with raspberry vinigiarette which was delicious. And of course twisty breadsticks because you cannot go to Pizza Factory and leave without getting one. Thank you to the great company I was able to share my lunch with. It made my day!

And to leave you this fine day...a picture of my child who thinks he has better fashion sense than me (refering to yesterdays post) ((and excuse my semi-dirty house)).



I told him to pose. This is it. Silly boy.



Day 1 of 5/5/30 Challenge

After a bit of a hardcore deep post yesterday...I'm going lighthearted at it today. It is officially Day 1 of my challenge. Time to lay out the goals and see what happens.

Goal 1: Lose a minimum of 5 lbs in the month of June. I'm shooting for 8.2 so I can hit my next Weight Watchers goal before the end of the month. Even more than that would be ideal...but I've learned not to aim too high or I crash.

Goal 2: Run a 5k by June 30. I'm good with official race or unofficial running, I just want to get to that point. Although there are loads of 5ks here during the summer I've realized, so if I see one near my ending time frame...I'll register.

Goal 3: I'm really and truly going to go for 1 month with no sweets. It's going to be hard, but they will be there come July 1st. Granted I'm hoping that by July 1st I won't have such a desire to eat them all.

 So there it is. No looking back. I'm accepting the challenge. I'll be following Weight Watchers and the Couch To 5k training program, starting at week 5 (works out perfectly...because thats pretty much where I'm at anyway).

*Also side note....I'm sorry I haven't been responding to comments. My blogger won't let me comment on my blog or anyone else's right now. So sorry! I appreciate all the comments though, helps me know I'm not writing to dead air :)

random

I am having a bit of a mental block today as to what I should write. I want to write something....I just dunno what. So I guess its one of those days I just type and see what comes of it.

I am starting to get more and more excited about my weight loss. I think the fear I had of losing weight is starting to subside. Yes...I had fear. I feared I'd have a fat tongue (like on Click, the extra skin that won't shrink) that people would realize I am fat (duh...cause thats not obvious at all), that I would fail, all sorts of random wierd things. But I'm getting over that now. I'm excited to start feeling good in my own skin finally. I'm also rather excited for Disneyland. My savings goals and my weight loss goals are NOT on track, but I'm working on it and I'm hoping things align a little better so that these can both be amped up. I have pretty much 2 1/2 months to get my butt in shape...and to get money saved up. Time to work on the discipline.

I have been struggling with how to offset what the boys are learning at their dads. Ty seems to be semi- immune to it all for now, but Nate has taken on some really bad habits that I need to curb. Attempting to curb them, however, is a hard thing to do. I guess just keep praying I'll figure something out and they won't be  too screwed up in the end. I do get to have them more often now though and that makes me happy.  Less time at their Dads house means more time in an (attempted) positive atmosphere.

Memorial day is coming and again I feel crappy that I don't have anywhere to memorialize Grayson. I guess we will see how the weekend goes. I'm excited I'll have my kiddos and look forward to having a good time, whatever we do.

...

I have officially gotten a full blown sore throat/cough thing. I really think its a sign from the exercise goddesses that either A. I should give up or B. I need to forge through and show myself I can do this. I'm hoping B is the right answer cause thats what I'm doing.
In other news...I just need a venting session about my job. As most know, I work for a non-profit organization that I absolutely love. I love my job, I love where I work, I love my co-workers. I DON"T love the Lenders I deal with day in and day out. When I first started, they were really nice. A couple months ago I had an awesome streak of approvals. Now...they are getting cut throat and harsh. So far I've had Lenders tell people they are worthless liars, that they tried to help the homeowners but the homeowners didn't feel the need to help back (so untrue), that their attempts in modifying and helping were FUTILE. Seriously...the letter said FUTILE. And the day after that letter showed up, the denial letter showed up. I just don't understand whats going on. I really don't. It went from a fairly easy in with Lenders to them doing anything possible to string out the process and find any reason possible to deny. I truly just don't get it.
On a happy note....congrats to my sis-in-law Betsy for being honored in the Festival City newsletter thing. We love you and I'm happy your hard work could get acknowledged!

My Word

I decided I needed a little boost towards my goal of aligning my karma and universe, or at least attempting to anyway. So what did I do last night? Hit up Redbox for Eat Pray Love. Why this movie gives me that motivation I do not know. Maybe it's because she decides not to settle anymore. She wants to find "her word" (for those who have seen the movie).

I want to find MY word. I feel a disconnect with my world and my feelings. I think I'm coming closer to finding that word, but not quite there yet.

Also, I have not yet cleaned out my facebook of previous people I was interested in but too nervous/afraid/retarded to go after. I need to do that, because its a little prick at my heart when I see them post pictures of new girlies they are in relationships with. It makes me wonder why its so hard to for me to delete them. This situation is another one of those things where I need to wait until the universe and karma align (getting closer!!). And generally the words of wisdom are as soon as you stop looking it will happen. I know that I will be in the right spot and the right time when I am meant to meet Mr Right. This is another reason I really do love Eat Pray Love. She goes through a journey of finding herself and finding balance in her life before she goes for the love dive.

I think I've done my own little Eat Pray Love journey lately, and maybe thats why I feel as if the world is aligning closer and closer. I feel like the (Eat) physical aspect of my life is getting better. Weight Watchers seems to have made a bit of a difference in my attitude towards exercise, food, and myself. And being able to have discipline in myself. The (Pray) religious aspect of my life is on swings right now. I know what I believe, I know what I want for myself and my kids, but I like to doubt the realism and question those beliefs on occasion. And I hate how hard it is to get back in the groove. The (love) emotional aspect is out of the water still. We won't even go there. So I have a little bit I need to work on before I'm ready for that Mr Right to walk in, and I realize that. But I'm still impatient. And wish things worked on MY timetable instead of the pre-set plan in store for me.

Positive affirmations

So on Weight Watchers there is an emphasis on positive affirmations and how they can help your journey and I totally agree. I've been thinking alot about how I like to totally kill all positive goals for myself like weight loss with my negative stream of thinking and doubting. I'm not sure as to why I do this, because its very frustrating for me and I feel like I totally ruin a lot of good experiences for myself. Well I've had a revitalizing day this morning via a text conversation...and here is how the conversation went (starting at my fav spot):

Friend: You have the power to choose.

Me: Yes, yes I do.

Friend: Yes you do. When one moves from "have tos" to "choose tos" or "get tos" one creates power beyond comprehension.

Me: Very true, I just have a hard time in transitioning from one to the other.

Friend: Are you choosing to make it hard? Bottom line- do you want to be powerful? If so, be it. Your choice....

Me: .... I need to work on my positive affirmations.

Friend: It is truly all in your power.

Me: I agree, its just hard work.

Friend: That, for me, is untrue. Life has never been easier. Accountability and choice, for me, is too easy.....

Me: That is a much better way of putting it! It is just a little too easy to make the choices I know will make me unhappy.

Friend: Actually, you have the point. I just assisted you in seeing it :) You are everything you want to be!

The little mini-conversation this morning as I was getting dressed was sooo eye opening to me. I do have the power to choose. And its too easy to choose negativity. Its hard to always stay positive but its doable. And I think it gets easier with time and practice. Thats what I'm shooting for anyway...and right now I'm feeling really good about my life. I think I'm going in a positive direction and I want to keep moving upward and onward.

My point: Create an amazing day, because YOU CAN!