Random Stuff

Has anyone else got the chance to watch The Voice? I'm not an American Idol fan, or of any of the other singing/talent related reality shows. But this one...I love. The episode this week was great...and I now have the song Elenowen (sp?) ((Pictured above)) performed in my head. Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. It's also now added to my playlists. It was awesome. I was shocked by some of the people they did choose...and shocked by some of the people they didn't that I thought were really good. I'm happy for a good show to replace Parenthood for the summer.

I also love The Biggest Loser. I used to not follow it too much but since starting Weight Watchers I now feel their pain kinda. Except I wish I had me a Jillian to kick some butt motivate me while exercising. I was really surprised when Rulon walked off.

Tomorrow is weigh in. I think I'm going to do okay. I've had a decent week. I've eaten right for the most part every day and I've exercised every night pretty hardcore. Gonna do the same tonight and pray for a great weigh in.

I'm feeling mucho better from yesterday, more energized and ready to meet my challenges. I think I was feeling a slight bit defeated in a sense maybe? I dunno. But I'm planning on getting a whole lot done at work and gonna for sure keep up on my laundry and cleaning this weekend. Thinkin this just may be the weekend to snake the tub drains as well. Yay for spring cleaning.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

The Irony of Mothers Day

So I've found this blog to be more of a journaling thing for me versus just sharing whats going on in our lives...so for todays post...just bare with me. Or skip this post. I won't be offended I promise. But this ones a bit close to my heart.

I have a desktop calender at work that I store my work related stuff as well as birthdays, the kids' school things, other events going on, etc. I was writing in the trips and events during my May month...and ran across Mothers Day. Why is this important? Because this year Grayson's birthday lands smack on Mothers Day. I handle pain and sadness different than most. I generally just go numb and choose not to feel it. But every so often it will creep up. Generally, its when the boys ask about him. They ask when we can get him a grave, where is his at, where can we go to visit him, when will we see him again....
The other day we ran out of gas (shocking I know haha) by the cemetary so I pulled in to wait for a friend to rescue me since my normal rescuers (my parents) were out of town that day. The boys and I decided to walk around and right in front of where we parked was the grave of a baby girl. A few feet away was a baby boy. As we walked around, there were a shocking number of baby angel graves. It made my heart break a little that my emotions surrounding Grayson coming prevented him from having that too. The boys are a bit sad about that as well, but life goes on. Which brings me to my next point.
I feel like I shouldn't just let the day pass without remembering him, but I don't know what to do. I feel deep down that he should be remembered, but on the surface I feel like I'm being silly at the same time. I don't by any means want people to feel/think that I'm trying to get attention, or make anyone feel bad for me, because that is not the case in any way. I have that fear with alot of things, but especially this. It's just a personal internal warfare that needs to be unleashed from time to time.
Life has moved on for me and its not something I would normally dwell on, but at the same time...he is very much apart of my family and in my heart and the boys' hearts. Bah. Why is life so challenging sometimes?

Running...ohhhhh how I loathe thee

So to start this little story off right, I've always had a love/hate relationship with running. I've sooo badly wanted to be the girl who could knock out a mile in 6 minutes and be able to go longer. This has never happened, even when I was a crazy super soccer/tennis/basketball/softball girl. Well last night...I got put in my place big time. I thought I was pretty awesome and a shoe in for this 5k. I'd been running jogging on the treadmill alot, I was keeping good time, I wasn't getting super tired........

Did I mention that was on the treadmill?

I learned last night that it is MUCH different jogging outside. I decided to try jogging around my complex twice. Figured that would be a good start.Yeah...I made it to the corner, then to the next corner, then my lungs wanted to explode inside my body. They were on fire. Burning like crazy. I walked the rest of that street and then attempted to jog around the corner, but only made it about half way and had to walk the rest of the way home. And that was only one loop! So then I decided instead maybe I'd just do small runs on the sidewalk that runs behind my house. Its fairly lengthy. I managed three back and forths before I threw in the towel and just hopped on the treadmill....where I was able to jog 5 more minutes and speed walk 10 more without my lungs wanting to shoot me. Seriously? This makes me wonder how well off I'm going to be at the 5k. I'm also pretty positive I will be slowing my partner in crime down, so just to put this out there...I will not be sad/mad/offended/or anything else if you run ahead of me. I will finish....it just might be on hands and knees crawling across the line.

The Joys of Car Shopping

So yesterday I went to St George for work, and decided while I was there to look into some cars. I know I know, I just got one a couple months a go but the gas is KILLING me. $100 a fill up is pretty hard to choke down, especially when I was traveling for work. It was wearing on me. So it was time.

I got it for a decent price and will pay it off pretty quickly. I'm almost excited for this paycheck's fill up and to calculate how many mpg I'm getting. The boys have decided they like it too. Its a bit more squishy than our Yukon, but its faster and funner according to them. Hopefully this will help me save money and be able to save more. And after child support starts coming in I'll be able to save alot quicker thank goodness.

So what joys have I found with car shopping? Well...I drove ALOT of cars. The one car I absolutely LOVED was an 03 Nissan Altima that was pretty. Not even pretty, more like gorgeous! I wanted it really bad but the payments would've been upwards of $300 which I probably could've managed, but it would've been really tight. I decided to go for conservative. So I chose the Sentra. Its nice, and it will work, and in my budget.

So based on this experience, I have learned a lesson. I also teach a First Time Homebuyer workshop at work. I teach about mistakes some FTHB make. One being...looking at houses that are more than they can afford. I know that principle well now....looking at the Altima, driving it around, drooling over admiring it. The Sentra is great, but its not the Altima. I am, however, very happy with myself for choosing the better option for me. I give myself a high five for that one. But I still wish I could've afforded that Altima. Some day. Until then, I'll drive around my little car and be ecstatic that I have a lower gas bill. :)

The Magnificant Easter Weekend

We had quite the adventures this weekend. It was a lot of fun though. A carnival had come and set up just up the street from us, and I had a little extra cash on me so I figured we could go. Those things are a total rip off! $1.50 a ticket or 20 for $20. So I opted for the 20 tickets and off we went. *Can I just say, never in my life have I been nervous walking down a street in Cedar City, until that night. We sped walked past the trailer park across the street from my house. I don't know why it was so scary to me. I do know bad things happen in that place though ( for the Cedarites, its the trailer park directly behind The Playhouse). And when we got to the carnival, I kind of wished I had a gun little bit of protection.*  First we attempted some motorcycle rides for Ryder. He wasn't so sure about that.

 But then he found the firetrucks. He was in Heaven and Ty was happy to go along for the ride while Nate and I watched. He was too big to go on the ride apparently. When did they start saying kids were too big?

Nate had been soo patient that we found a ride he wanted to go on. The bumper cars! He got stuck the first round so the guy running the ride let him go again for free. I was pleasantly shocked.

Then we found the Merry Go Round. I got an AWESOME picture of Nate, but for some reason it didn't load to my email, and I had already erased it from my phone. Bah. But the boys had fun anyway. And is it just me or do those things haul butt a lot faster than they used to? I was happy I hadn't let Ry go alone or he would've guaranteed been torpedoed off.

Nate really wanted to do the Apple ride, and Tyler did too. So he said. So we waited in line and Tyler backed out last minute. Nate was the only one on the entire ride, but he had a blast. I thought this picture was funny of the three of them waiting.

The boys also went on a mirror walk thing, and the super slide. And then all begged to go on the Ferris Wheel. Every time we passed the park, they begged to. So I figured it was something we could all go on. But we were out of tickets and it was 3 tickets per person. There went another $18 down the drain for one ride. But the boys liked it so I think it was worth it.

Friday my daycare was closed so the boys and I cleaned house and boy did we clean. It feels soo good to have a clean house to walk into and clean clothes. I really need to keep up on it better. Their dad came to get them fairly early, so it was just me and Ry. After a short stint to St George to see about cars, we went to dinner with Mom and Dad at Subway then went home and snuggled.

Saturday was a blast! I weighed in at Weight Watchers and lost 4.4 lbs! This brings my total weight lost back on track at 15.4 lbs! I was soo ecstatic to hear that since the previous weeks I had lost hope of getting back. This week, I'm amped again to keep losing. After weigh in, we decided to go to St George with Mom and Dad, and had alot of fun at the Art Show there. The weather was beautiful (enough to give me and Ry a little pink hue). The art show had a lot of interesting stuff that we looked at, but three things in particular caught Ryders attention. The first being a really cool tractor engine setup that was making some homemade ice cream. I should've gotten a picture, because it was neat. It held Ryders attention for a good 5 minutes.

Then we saw the itsy bitsy spider that wasn't so itsy bitsy. Yet another thing Ry was intrigued with. He could easily walk underneath its tummy, that is how big it was. On the way home, he kept asking to look at the spidey. Just couldn't get enough.

And finally......the Water Pad. Oh how he loved the water pad. After we got done walking through the exhibits we decided to let him play in the water for a minute. I figured he would want to play in the spot that looks like mini waterfalls crossing the sidewalk, but no. He high-tailed it to the water pad. After taking off his shoes and socks he went wild. He loved to "stomp" on the water and splash it every where. I definitely think that was his favorite part of the day.

Then off to DQ for some lunch. After a tasty treat, we found a car dealership that had a good stock pile and they thought they would be able to finance me. Today I take my Yukon down and see what I can get for it. I'm excited because the prospect of a new car is great. The payment plus gas will still be less than what I'm paying just is gas right now.

When we got back home, I finished up laundry and Ryder took a real long nap, which allowed me to read an awesome "culinary mystery" I'd been working on. My mom turned me on to The Josi Kilpack series a couple books ago and now I'm reading through them fairly fast. I just finished the 3rd one (Devil's Food Cake) last night. They are really funny murder mysteries with the main character being a nosy older lady who just can't seem to keep herself out of trouble. They also feature recipes at the end of every chapter, some of which sound delightful but are definitely NOT on my diet. I can't wait to read the next one.

Well thats all for now. I hope you all have a fantastic week!

So...

So I think I'm a tard. How did I not realize there was a new customized dashboard or something to that effect? I quite like the new setup. And I needed a break from my pink melodrama. I like the new summery look. It kind of reflects a change of heart for me....No longer going to be Ms Whiney Pants about life I've decided. Going to take the power back and move it in the direction I want to. Or at least try.

Anyway...life is looking up. Legal matters with Dan are almost complete as long as he doesn't contest anything, and if he does my attorney has written in the paperwork that he will start paying the court costs and attorney fees. Sneaky little way of saying be happy or fork out cash! I think he will be fairly happy with the arrangements. There isn't anything really out of the norm of how things have been.

And...today is my Friday! Which means no posts until next week. Some plans for the weekend include cleaning the house and doing laundry, taking the kids to the museum thing here (Nate REALLY wants to go), possible St George trip (still lookin to transition to a car for better gas mileage), and who knows what else. Its Easter after all. I won't have the boys, but me and Ry will be able to pal around and find something fun to do.

So until then....Happy Easter to everyone and have a great, fun and eventful weekend!

My Word

I decided I needed a little boost towards my goal of aligning my karma and universe, or at least attempting to anyway. So what did I do last night? Hit up Redbox for Eat Pray Love. Why this movie gives me that motivation I do not know. Maybe it's because she decides not to settle anymore. She wants to find "her word" (for those who have seen the movie).

I want to find MY word. I feel a disconnect with my world and my feelings. I think I'm coming closer to finding that word, but not quite there yet.

Also, I have not yet cleaned out my facebook of previous people I was interested in but too nervous/afraid/retarded to go after. I need to do that, because its a little prick at my heart when I see them post pictures of new girlies they are in relationships with. It makes me wonder why its so hard to for me to delete them. This situation is another one of those things where I need to wait until the universe and karma align (getting closer!!). And generally the words of wisdom are as soon as you stop looking it will happen. I know that I will be in the right spot and the right time when I am meant to meet Mr Right. This is another reason I really do love Eat Pray Love. She goes through a journey of finding herself and finding balance in her life before she goes for the love dive.

I think I've done my own little Eat Pray Love journey lately, and maybe thats why I feel as if the world is aligning closer and closer. I feel like the (Eat) physical aspect of my life is getting better. Weight Watchers seems to have made a bit of a difference in my attitude towards exercise, food, and myself. And being able to have discipline in myself. The (Pray) religious aspect of my life is on swings right now. I know what I believe, I know what I want for myself and my kids, but I like to doubt the realism and question those beliefs on occasion. And I hate how hard it is to get back in the groove. The (love) emotional aspect is out of the water still. We won't even go there. So I have a little bit I need to work on before I'm ready for that Mr Right to walk in, and I realize that. But I'm still impatient. And wish things worked on MY timetable instead of the pre-set plan in store for me.

The Weekend, Weigh In, and Spend Less

This weekend was pretty monumental. Okay not really monumental, but it was a good weekend all the same. I'm breaking them down into short highlights. -Friday was payday. I had lots of overtime and per diem from traveling and made bank. I got $200 stocked in my Disneyland savings, money paid back to parents, and all my bills paid with plenty left over. I took out $100 for my spending money and have $42 left. The rest was spent buying a birthday present, stocking up on cleaning/household supplies that were needed, and having lunch with my boys. I also have quite a surplus left in the bank which makes me happy as always. -Weight Watchers was a bit of a disappointment. Not the program, but my results. I've been a bit irritated with my gain last week...that was 4.2 lbs. Yes...GAINED 4.2 lbs. I took into account that it was a night weigh in, I had on heavier clothes than normal, and I had eaten previous to weighing in. I fully expected to lose that weight and then maybe some with this weigh in on Saturday. Oh no. I only lost 0.2 lbs. Bringing my total down to 11.4 lbs lost total. I know exactly what it was too...thinking I could eat unhealthy stuff as long as I was in my points. We had treats and chips and croussant sandwiches at work all week, and I really just didn't eat healthy or get all my fruits and veggies in per day. I also didn't prepare my meals at home ahead of time, which meant quicker and less healthy meals were made. I have Disneyland in mind and I really want to reach my goal. - The highlight of Saturday was definitely our sweet Jack's birthday party at the aquatic center. It was such a nice party, and it was really great being able to see some old friends and catch up. And of course, Jack was fantastic to watch. He was having soo much fun. It's hard to believe he is 1 already. The boys of course had a ball and the food was delicious. We truly had a great time. Thank you Betsy, the party was definitely a hit! I think thats all for now. Here is hoping for a great week for everyone!

Quick and Easy

I have slacked on posting the last day or two because I've been busy and out of town, but here are a couple little tidbits for the day. -My SpendLess has been slacking. Big time. But I'm starting over this new check. I will use cash again and not spend on my card unless absolutely necessary (like for gas only since gas is easier {more convienent for me} to pay with than cash). -I got a really good check due to having overtime and mileage, so I will be able to catch up with my savings goals and that makes me excited! -I weigh in tomorrow and I have not eaten well today. I am going to have to exercise and run ALOT tonight to make up for it, but am looking forward to (hopefully) losing weight. I better, or someone is going down. Namely me. -Tomorrow is going to be a super fun filled day. I get to keep my boys (woot woot!) and in the morning we have ww weigh in, then an easter egg hunt for the tenants at work, then Nate has scouts and I think Ty and Ry will go with me shopping, then our nephew/cousin Jack's birthday party which is our very favorite part of the day the boys have determined (HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK!). Sometime in the day I also get to go pick up some new kitchen chairs from a co-worker whos giving them away, and also possibly a new coffee table and maybe more. Not sure yet. But excited all the same! I think thats all for now. I will status update on Monday how the weekend went and how weigh in went, and maybe even a picture or two. Have a good weekend all!

He Didn't Have To Be

He Didn't Have To Be

-Brad Paisley

When a single mom goes out on a date with someone new

It always winds up feeling more like an interview

My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone

Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run

I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old

He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go

A few months later I remember lying there in bed

I overheard him pop the question and prayed that he'd say yes

And then all of a sudden

Oh, it seemed so strange to me

How we went from something's missing

To a family

Lookin' back all I can say

About all the things he did for me

Is I hope I am at least half the dad

That he didn't have to be

I met a girl thats now my wife about three years ago

We had a perfect marriage be we wanted something more

Now here I stand surrounded by our family and our friends

Crowded around the nursery window as they bring the baby in

And now all of a sudden

It seems so strange to me

How we went from something's missing

To a family

Looking back all I can say

About all the things he did for me

Is I hope that I am at least half the dad

That he didn't have to be

All I can say is that it made me tear up more than just a little. Sigh.

Mothering Vs Parenting

I have come to a bit of a debocle (?) as a parent. Nate got in trouble at school yesterday and I am not sure how to handle it. I don't want to get too overkill if it truly was just one of those dumb things boys will do, but I don't want to downplay it if there is something serious lying underneath. This brings me to some thoughts. I've never thought that parenting was entirely difficult. It can be stressful yes, irritating yes, awesome most definitely. But I've never thought of it as hard until now. I think because I was soo young when I had kids, my lack of knowledge has hindered me in being a parent. I don't know quite how to help my kids know what is right and wrong. I'm not sure how to teach them how they need to behave. I don't know how to ensure they have the proper morals and values and such that they need to survive in this horribly sad world. I make my way through this day by day and just try my hardest, but I really feel like I've done a disservice to them. I know most parents feel this way at some point in their parenting lives, but it is soo hard to know what to do when things like what happened with Nate...happen.

I think I've finally grown up enough to realize that I need to change how I do things and quit acting like a teenager. Albeit I'm doing much better than I used to, but there is still some improvements that need to be made.

I wish I could feel better about the mothering side of things too. There is a difference. The parent makes sure the kids know right from wrong, get their 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day, checks homework, disciplines when needed, makes sure chores get done and the house is in a livable state. The mother snuggles, kisses hurt elbows and knees, cheers at soccer games, sings and dances to silly songs, scratches backs and reads stories all night long. At the moment I feel like I'm lacking in both areas.

But....this has been a good experience for me I think. I really need to reassess what I'm doing and grow up. Thats the long and short of it, I need to grow up. I'm not a kid anymore. And I can't be just their friend. I am their parent and their mother, and that means we are going to have fights and I am goin to have to put my foot down. There will be tears from both me and them I'm sure, but it has to be done for them to learn the lessons they need to learn to be successful in life. I want them to be able to be regarded as gentlemen. Kind, sincere, honest, trustworthy, moral, ethical, all that kind of stuff.

So here is a new fork in the road. I need to choose which way I'm going to go and I quit making excuses for why I can't get there. I just need to do it.

Positive affirmations

So on Weight Watchers there is an emphasis on positive affirmations and how they can help your journey and I totally agree. I've been thinking alot about how I like to totally kill all positive goals for myself like weight loss with my negative stream of thinking and doubting. I'm not sure as to why I do this, because its very frustrating for me and I feel like I totally ruin a lot of good experiences for myself. Well I've had a revitalizing day this morning via a text conversation...and here is how the conversation went (starting at my fav spot):

Friend: You have the power to choose.

Me: Yes, yes I do.

Friend: Yes you do. When one moves from "have tos" to "choose tos" or "get tos" one creates power beyond comprehension.

Me: Very true, I just have a hard time in transitioning from one to the other.

Friend: Are you choosing to make it hard? Bottom line- do you want to be powerful? If so, be it. Your choice....

Me: .... I need to work on my positive affirmations.

Friend: It is truly all in your power.

Me: I agree, its just hard work.

Friend: That, for me, is untrue. Life has never been easier. Accountability and choice, for me, is too easy.....

Me: That is a much better way of putting it! It is just a little too easy to make the choices I know will make me unhappy.

Friend: Actually, you have the point. I just assisted you in seeing it :) You are everything you want to be!

The little mini-conversation this morning as I was getting dressed was sooo eye opening to me. I do have the power to choose. And its too easy to choose negativity. Its hard to always stay positive but its doable. And I think it gets easier with time and practice. Thats what I'm shooting for anyway...and right now I'm feeling really good about my life. I think I'm going in a positive direction and I want to keep moving upward and onward.

My point: Create an amazing day, because YOU CAN!

5k and WW

This weekend was a hard weekend. Not a happy one by any means. But such is life. We get through it and get back on track. So being back on track, there are a few things I'm excited about. This week at WW I was given the information about the 5k coming up. I've never participated in any sort of marathon, and have always wanted to. So here is my chance. They gave a great guide on how to train for it, and I plan on following it like crazy. I really want to be able to jog at least some of it so I'm going to have to work hard. I'm super excited though.

This week I'm going to work my butt off with eating right and exercising anyway too, because when I weighed in Thursday night I had gained weight. And I need to get that amount off plus some if I want to keep on target with my losing goal for Disneyland. Since you gain weight during the day (shocker, I know hehe), I'm hoping most of it was daytime weight, plus I was wearing heavier clothes than I normally would at weigh in. So crossing fingers it will drop off this week. Work is also going to be busy busy, I have to get my two billings done this week by Friday and keep on top of my files too. So it should be a busy week that speeds by and I'm looking forward to it speeding by because this weekend is going to be packed full of good stuff. My weigh in of course, then an Easter Egg Hunt with the tenants at work, then my nephew Jack's birthday party! The boys are sooo excited to be able to stay the weekend with me and to participate in all the fun activities and I'm always super happy to have them stay with me.

Anyway... time to get to the grind. Hope everyone has a great week!

Calming down....and a bad trip

I am up in Orem, UT right now for a meet the mortgager/home and garden expo that is going on right now and I generally like traveling for these things, except that this whole trip has been crazy. I started out the day yesterday by driving in snow to get here...then getting lost on my way to UVU. Mapquest failed me. The exit that it told me to take ended up leading me to historic downtown Provo, not Orem and the UVU. It took me over an hour to find my way and get to the expo. The day itself went okay until I had to leave. I purposely booked a hotel that was super close so I wouldn't get lost. 0.1 mile away from the expo. And I got lost. When I finally did find it, they didn't have my reservation. My PRE-PAID FOR reservation. I booked it 2 weeks ago and had them pre-pay so I could get a killer deal on the price. So I had to put the room on my personal card. I swear, if the room has been charged to the work card, I am going to throw a fit. This morning I go down for breakfast at 8:30 and there is 1 banana left, like 2 bagels, and a mile long line for the waffle maker. The food is pretty much gone. Ya think they would prepare just a little bit better at a hotel. Don't get me wrong, the room was ok but that is the last time I ever book at a La Quinta. Ever. Today I have hopes of a better day. I spent the morning watching the news about the budget agreements and such and honestly, I am a bit more calmed down now after yesterday since they came to an agreement about the budgets which means no shutting down of the government. But why exactly did it take them into the 2nd quarter of the fiscal year to come up with a budget for this year? Polls were debating who was to blame, whether it was Obama or the Republicans or Democrats, but why don't they ALL take a bit of responsibility? The political parties were not doing their jobs in Congress in the first place to come up with a budget in a timely manner. Their boss, Obama, did not push them to come to a resolution before now. And probably wouldn't have if the push for shutting down the government hadn't been looming. And Obama tried to make it look all heartwarming and such that he gave up his vacation to Williamsburg to be "closer to what was going on in Congress." How nice of him. This country is in a sad state of affairs. And as much as I try to ignore it and pretend like everything is all good....it's not. It's really not. One can only pretend for so long before their eyes get opened and mine definitely are now. I hope with this next election we can make some serious changes with what is going on and get some people in there who truly care about the nation and not themselves.

Severe Irritation with Congress and the Budget.

As a forewarning, this post is going to be a bit ventful and will show some outrage. I don't follow whats going on with our country a whole lot, at least not as much as I should. But this time I can't ignore it. The decisions that are made with the budgets will directly affect my job position, and until they decide on that budget the furlough time directly affects numerous friends of mine that are in the military and some family as well. The people in office are soo focused on themselves that they are losing focus on this country. Instead of forgetting their political parties, forgetting their upcoming elections, and focusing on the most important thing...AMERICA....they are acting like children. The only difference is that if a child threw a fit merely because he didn't get his way, he would probably be repremanded. Congress? Oh no. They can take their sweet time deciding stuff while living in their million dollar houses, driving brand spankin new cars, and bringing home paychecks that are probably as much as I make in a year. And this whole furlough deal, doesn't apply to them of course. They will still be getting paid while they duke it out over whos party is better and who is going to get the most votes in the upcoming election. Its sad. It makes me wonder what this nation has come to. So I have a plan for Congress. And it will probably never reach their ears because they don't really care about the opinions of us little people who actually have to live by whatever decisions they make. But my plan would be as follows. Instead of being greedy and fighting over whos better than who, try sitting down and looking at the numbers. Obviously, this country needs financial help and obviously there needs to be some cuts made. Take of your political hats, and work together. And if by chance you need to take a little extra time, how about we not cut the pay of those "little people" who are being directly affected by your greediness. Because you are being greedy and selfish, you will most likely soon be taking food out of the mouths of the families that have daddys or mommys who are fighting a war thousands of miles away. They are risking their lives every day to make sure you can still be a millionaire. And how about those who work here in the states for you? You are also taking food out of the mouths of their families. Have you thought of that? I have an idea that I bet would light a fire under your feet to make a decision. Instead of cutting pay to hard working individuals like my friends and family are, how about YOU take the pay cut. Work for free. I bet you that as soon as your paychecks get jeopardized, you will work a whole lot faster and a whole lot better to come to a resolution. My point? Get a Momma to go into Congress and sit them all down for a time out until they can calm down and behave. And if they can't? They are the ones who don't get a paycheck until they can!!

Kid-isms

The boys crack me up. Here are a couple of the latest:

-This morning as we are driving to moms house. I see a cute military guy so we try to catch him, and Nate is an awesome wingman. "Come on....green light. Stay green. Momma's got to catch up to the hot army guy. Hurry mom! Cooooommmmeeeee onnnnnn." And when we catch him...."He has a nice car. But he's not that hot."

-Last night at the dinner table, somehow Tyler figured out how to get water to come out his nose. For those who knew us when he was a baby...he was notorious for having food come spilling out his nose due to his cleft palate. Somehow, after all the surgeries, he has now figured out how to get water to come out his nose without the burn. Nate tried, but just couldn't do it. Ry just laughed and thought it was a grand ol' time. Water was flying everywhere and I learned that spitting water out your nose everywhere is "hilarious and wicked cool".

-Ryder is a big boy now, did you know that? He refuses to go potty in the potty, but he is a big boy. So in order to be a big boy that apparently means getting in and out of the car and his carseat by himself and shutting the door, climbing onto his chair/the couch/his bed/etc without help, and doing what his brothers do. Which last night included him face planting it at least 3 times at the park because he wanted to jump off the big stairs like brothers. One time resulted in him biting his tongue. I hope he grows out of it soon.

Woes of the Drivers License

So I've been rather proud of myself with my spendless week so far. I haven't bought anything in the last two days. Well except this morning, I had to pay for my drivers license to be renewed. Can I tell you what....that was quite the fun experience. As some may know....probably 6 months ago my license got stolen out of my screening tray at the Salt Lake City airport. Yeah. So I had to go get a new one. I was only 1 month shy of being able to just renew my license. I was a little irked. Anyway...my license expired in January. And I promise I was trying to remember to go get it renewed....I just didn't have time. Well...I decided I needed to make it a priority since I am renting a car to go to SLC this weekend and I'm pretty positive that the rent-a-car place would not let me rent with an expired license. So I get everything ready and realize I can't find my birth certificate anywhere. Seriously. I need to come up with a filing system. Anyway...so I went to the DMV on Monday after work to see if I could get my temporary anyway. It was a no go. So I go out last night to get my birth certificate and although the office was open until 6 pm, they opted to stop making copies at 4:15 pm. So I went this morning...and in order to get a birth certificate you have to have a valid (not expired) photo ID. I explained I was trying to get that...but I couldn't without this birth certificate. They say too bad. So I took yet another trip to the DMV and pretty much got on my hands and knees to beg, bribe, whatever it took for them to give me at least a temporary ID. The nice girl behind the desk (who had previously told me that getting my license renewed without my birth certificate was a complete no go) let me know that they had all the information on file for me from 6 months ago so she would just go ahead a renew it for me. Really?! So since I don't plan on buying anything further today...spend less total is $25. And $18 saved, because I didn't have to get a copy of my birth certificate. My point: Go to the DMV first thing in the morning. They are way more helpful before they have a day of dealing with crazies. And... don't lose stuff.

The weekend and a beginning of a new week

So my big plan to start de-junking my house fell through this weekend. Instead, I laid on my couch whining a little because my feet hurt. More on that later.

On Friday I was planning on going home, cooking some dinner and relaxing. Instead, the ex didn't bother to pick up the boys, or call saying he wasn't going to, or respond to any texts.... in essence he didn't really care that I might have had plans. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having the boys stay home with me on the weekends. But if I would've known, I would've had dinner prepared and all that jazz. Anyway...so instead we decided to get some things done. The car was in desperate need of a bath, so $7.00 went to that. Then also needed gas in a bad way, so $80.50 drained to fill the truck. Then I got a call from the ex saying "Where are you?!" I wanted to shout back... "well if you would answer any of my texts or calls you would know where I am!?!" but I refrained. He says "Jen is waiting at your house for you." So I bust home (this is at about 5:45 pm just fyi) so we don't miss her...then wait. And...wait some more. (Hmm....he told me she was there waiting for us.....) And...wait some more. I'm starving. The boys are playing at the park. So I ate some of my leftover enchilada casserole while waiting and finally at 7:00 pm she shows up. Really?!

Anyway...I need a de-stressing so we go on a walk with the neighbor and I swear to you... for the Cedarites...it was probably the same mileage as walking from the top of Cedar Knolls to 200 North. My feet were KILLING me. When we got done, Ry was hungry and I was tired so I gave in and got him a BK Happy Meal for $4.58. Then came home and crashed hard.

Saturday morning was my weigh in and it was fantastic! I lost 3.2 lbs making my total 15.4 lbs! That made my day...although I'm postive the number wouldn't have been as high if I hadn't taken that walk. But that means I officially passed my goal for March of meeting the mini goal. Makes me happy. Anyway...after taking it easy all morning I was finally feeling good enough to go shopping so we went and stocked up a bit. $39.39 later...I'm ready for the week. I was so not in the mood to cook, so I gave in and got pizza for $13.71 and we watched movies (redbox...$2.19). It was a nice night. We watched "Life As We Know It" and I LOVE that movie. Although it did make me wonder who would take care of my boys if something were to ever happen to me. I need to make a living will I think.

Sunday...was also good and relaxing. Me and Ry worked on laundry and just had a nice relaxing day at home. So not much else there.

Anyway....so post weekend tallies are as follows:

Amount spent from the account: $122.08

Amount spent in cash: $25.29

Amount of weight lost: 3.2 lbs (woot woot!)

Amount towards savings: $0 :(

I spent WAY too much this weekend out of the account. Granted that was for gas and food, but still! I don't need to purchase anything this week so I don't plan on spending anything further. I also forgot this weekend is my weekend to go to Salt Lake. So....I will have to spend money on gas and food there. Sadly. But where I'm driving...I'll have the freedom to pack some healthy stuff as well so it should work out okay. Have a good day all!

April Fools! Ok Not Really

Its April! This year is flying by! Since its a new month, its once again time to tally it up and set some goals. For the Spend Less, I have been a slacker. Although I have not gone overdrawn in my account (miracle! I count that alone as a success) I have also not kept real good track of my spending. So here is the long and short of it.

Spending wise....I have no idea.

Disneyland Fund: $50 (I had to pull some out to put gas in my truck this month sadly)

Weight: 12.2 lbs (crossing fingers its more on Saturday!)

This month I will be tracking my spending again like I did in February. I need to be able to do that again until I get in the habit of tracking it on my own. So bear with me. I get paid today...so I will start today. Since I now have the added expense of attorney fees, I have to be a little bit more tight on the budget. I got a little raise at work though, so that helps out a little bit too. So here are my goals for April.

Spend Less: $100/week

Disneyland Savings goal: $200

Weight Goal: 8 lbs down

-So on the weekly amount, I'm hoping to have money roll over to the next week. Since starting WW, we hardly ever eat out so that will help. So that money will be for any household items needed, gas for the truck, and any fun stuff we decide to do. Where I only fill up my truck twice a month (generally speaking) that will knock out about $180 of that money for gas leaving me $220 for everything else. Thats managable.

-I'm hoping I can actually sock more money away than that in my Disneyland account. I have a really good paycheck today due to extra hours for the home and garden show, plus I will be going up north on the 8th-9th for work, so that will be extra money on that check as well. All of which I plan to put towards disneyland fund and attorney fees.

-On the weight lost...I sure hope I can make that goal. It doesn't seem like much weight, but thats 2 lbs a week and where I've had little weeks like my .8 lb lost last week...I gotta get my butt in the groove and start losing. I really have my eye on the prize of being able to be comfortable and confident when we go to Disneyland, instead of people wondering why theres a beached whale in a swimsuit chillin in the sand. If I lose the desired amount of weight I've set for myself, my reward is going to be buying a new swimsuit that makes me feel good. I really want that new swimsuit....so I'm gonna work hard. That goal is more personal, however, so I won't disclose it at the moment but you shall know if/when I reach it. I still get a little weary about disclosing how much I actually want to lose doing this program...only because...well...that means

I have to admit thats how much I gotta lose. And its embarassing to me that I've let myself go that much. Me and H at work have also been chatting about the weight loss and shes told me I've inspired her and shes vicariously living through me. I am soo happy that throwing my focus at this is helping other people get motivated to change something in their life as well. I know alot of my motivation to keep going comes from those around me that have worked hard and trimmed down....so I am soo happy I can do that for someone else too!

I have some other things I'd like to accomplish this month as well. They are my honey do items, except I'm the honey so I gotta do 'em.

-Spring Cleaning! My house needs a good scrub down, which is going to take more time than I thought. I'm hoping to accomplish this before the end of the month. I figure if I focus every weekend on getting two rooms cleaned and organized I can knock it out.

-Spring Maintanence! I really need to change my furnace filters and snake my drains. And do some other little things. And get my fridge looked at, since it constantly drips water onto all my food in the fridge. Its annoying and I just haven't remembered to call ERA and have them look at it.

-Spring De-Junking! I guess this goes along with spring cleaning kinda. I really need to go through the boys clothes and DI the ones that are not fitting anymore. Also need to do the same with my clothes...I'm tired of doing 80 loads of laundry a month I swear. I also need to go through the boys toys and DI the ones that are not working as well anymore, or that no one plays with anymore.

Here is to a good month of April!