Wooooooow what a day it has been. I mentioned in a previous post that the interest rates have risen, which means work has been slow. There have been murmurs at work about what is going to happen and whether people should stay on or look for other jobs. At the beginning of the week we got an email from the President/CEO/Owner guy of our company saying to keep our Wednesday open and be in office at 9:00 am for meetings. Obviously, this kind of made us all wonder what was going on. Well on got there this morning and a good chunk of the processing crew got emails asking them to go to the conference room at 9:30. Those of us who didn't figured we'd missed an email so started going over, but was told we needed to just watch our email for a different meeting time.
Of course, this got us all speculating about what was going on. Around 15 minutes later, we found out. A very large chunk of people have been laid off. People I never in my life would've guessed they would've chosen got laid off. People that in all honesty should've been kept as they were all-star processors. People who are better processors than myself, hands down. I have tried to figure out how the choices were made. Nothing makes sense really when you compare apples to apples on who they kept and who they let go. I am sure they had their reasons and I know it was tough for them all to try and decide, it just makes no sense.
It was one of the most surreal moments I have ever experienced. I was feeling extremely blessed that I had made the cut and was kept on, but was hurting for those that were let go. And what do you do in that moment? You don't want to just sit there and stare, but you don't want them to think your ignoring them. Do you help them clean out their desks? Or do you just leave them be? People were whispering, crying, hugging.....some where laughing and trying to keep a good attitude. For some it was a blessing, for others it was a very sad day. At our afternoon meeting, we went over how the company would proceed. I think what they did was extremely dramatic, but it makes sense with the rate of growth we had. I think it was just too much, too fast. I don't know.
I have no idea why I was kept, other than I (thankfully!!) have an amazing bossman/loan officer who has my back. But it has been an eye opener. I have gotten too comfortable and quite honestly a little lazy. This experience has shown me my faults and helped me to realize that I need to make some changes in order to exceed the standards I have set for myself, and the standards that will be expected from here on out company-wide. This experience has given me a renewed sense of purpose and a desire to be better than the day before, even if it means sucking up my insecurities and faking it 'til I make it with the things I struggle with.
So with that, it is time to relax and rejuvenate. It's time to enjoy my long holiday weekend and start fresh with a renewed sense of purpose on Monday. So enjoy the weekend....have a fantastic Independence Day and we will chat again soon.