Thursday, December 29, 2011

Disgusting boys

Nate and Tyler are off to see their Grandparents and we are missing them horribly. Ryder was soo sad not to have his brothers home, he spent the night snuggling with me on the couch until he fell asleep. I was going stir crazy and missing them, so I did what every sane person does who needs to kill time (hehehehe yeah I'm not sane most days) I cleaned. I started at around 9:00 pm. The boys bedrooms were crazy messy but the worst room by far? Their bathroom. Oh. My. Gosh. I couldn't figure out why it stunk so bad in there so I got my cleaning stuff and my old toothbrush and Q tips and went at it. The boys clean in there for the most part with some oversight from me, so things generally get wiped down and such. But. It always stinks! So on further inspection, I found pee in the oddest places. There was some on the side of the garbage can, behind the toilet, on the side of the tub (what the...), on that bottom part of the toilet....everywhere. But by far the stinkiest stench was coming from the little tight crevices that a rag just doesn't get to. I spent a good 45 minutes in there cleaning with Q tips in hopes to get the smell gone. And it worked! I am now the proud owner of a toilet so clean you could eat off it. The rest of my house is squeaky clean as well. I may not have finished until 1:00 am, but its worth it. I LOVE having a clean home. Tonight's task is going to be putting Christmas decorations away and finishing up laundry. Should be easy peasy...and hopefully I can sleep a little better tonight. I will be SOOO happy when I get to see my loveys again tomorrow. So will Ryder. He's one sad little guy without them around. But until then, I will enjoy my clean house. Heaven knows as soon as they get home it will be a disaster again.
 

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Its a touchy subject


I hope I don't cause anyone to be offended by this post, that is definitely not my intention. But I feel that what I'm about to write about, albeit a touchy subject, needs to be talked about on occasion. Last night a friend of mine was having a tough night. Yesterday would've been their angel's 5th birthday and no one remembered, no family, no friends (later on I found out that one family member had indeed called later that night, thank goodness). I am soo very grateful that my friend felt comfortable enough to get in contact with me, as it is such a hard experience to go through. The prompting for this post however, is to just put out there a friendly bug in everyone's ear. I know that talking to someone about a loved one who has died is always tough, but for some reason it's almost taboo to talk about miscarriages, stillbirths, or anything that fits that category. I understand, its awkward. But that doesn't change the fact that a life was lost. And it hurts.
I have been sooo very blessed to have a family and friends that I feel have tried to understand what happened and how I feel. It truly has been a blessing and has helped me to get past some very tough days. But not everyone has that kind of support. Or they do, but it just kind of withers away as time passes. This was the case with my dear friend. And it's hard, because even if that child is not around still they are very much apart of the family. There will be moments when the kids and I are playing that there is a feeling of someone missing. Or as I see children that would've been Grayson's age, I wonder what he would've looked like. What his little personality would've been like. I am grateful for the knowledge that I will see him again someday and we will be reunited as a family, but until then it doesn't make those few hard days any easier.
So my whole reasoning for this post? As hard as it is to talk to someone about their loss, its even harder for those that have been through it to bring the topic up even if they really need someone to talk to. I know personally there have been days I just simply needed to vent but it's soo hard to call someone up and be like "Hey! How are you? So I need to talk about my dead baby. You game?" That just isn't a possibility alot of the time. So if you know someone who has lost a child, be patient with them. Never tell them it's time to get over it or move on. A person will never "get over" losing a child (or any loved one for that matter). It's always going to be a pain that sits deep in the heart, and it will surface from time to time. That doesn't mean they haven't moved on with their life, it just means they are missing that little soul that was taken away far too soon. And if your not comfortable talking about it but know they are struggling, just give them a hug. Take them a treat or a flower and just let them know you care. Actions speak MUCH louder than words and most the time, its just nice to have someone remember that sweet little life. Not for matters of sympathy or grief, but simply to honor the life of their loved one. 

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Christmas!

We had such a nice Christmas. And I took quite a bit of pictures, so I will let them do (most of) the talking.

Friday afternoon we closed down early and the kids and I went to Krave. Super tasty :)
We were rather bored, so we ended up at Krave and chilled out. I love that place. Seriously delightful. Afterwards, we went with Grandma to IFA and then to Payless for slippers (which they didn't have any for little boys. Seriously? Your a shoe store. You had them for adults and little girls...but not little boys?) and then home for a movie night. Saturday morning I was met with little boys jumping in my bed. We all sang a round of Happy Birthday for Nate and spent the day cleaning up for Santa to come, visiting Grandma and Grandpa, and shopping/making food/playing until the annual Carlile Christmas Eve festivities at Scott and Betsy's house. Nate was SOOO excited because he got to go shopping for his birthday present with Uncle Scott. He seriously had been talking about it for at least two weeks, thats his favorite part of his birthday I think. He got a shot gun with rubber bullets that he loved. And then got an awesome hat from the Tony and Valena clan, that he has barely taken off since he got it. He loves it. Grandpa and Grandma got him a super spiffy Sharper Image pocket knife with a light that he was also very excited about. Then we headed out. Dinner was delightful, delicious prime rib and crab. Also had a variety of sides that were super tasty. Then it was time for the birthday celebration. He got a Diary of a Wimpy Kid book from the Carlile clan and Hugo Cabret from me, both of which he has taken turns reading every night.

We celebrated Nate's birthday...he chose his cake and such. Loved it.

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And this is him blowing out the candles. I missed the first part of the song dang it.

After the Christmas Brownie brought jammies, we wanted to get a photo op. I LOVE this picture because everyone is just being silly.

The boys wanted to make sure their bases were covered. Carrots and water (in the special rudolph cup) for the reindeer, pretzels and milk (again in special cup) for Santa. They ate them all gone :)
 
Ty and Ry opening their presents on Christmas morning.



Nate opening his present (and a blurry Ty in the background)

Breakfast at the Parents house. always delightful.


Ry LOVES his big wheel. I'll have to get a picture of the other boys, I just realized I didn't get them.

I slacked on pictures after about 11:00 a.m. Just way too sleepy I think. The boys and I made a good haul though. Nate got an awesome new bike that I will have to get a picture of. He loves it, and it is rather awesome. Ryder got his big wheel that he's in love with (as are his brothers, they won't stay off it) And Tyler got tons AND TONS of Legos and some new shoes. They also got spiderbots, some games and experiment kits and so much more.
We then went to church for the Sunday Christmas Program. It was a fantastic program, truly brought the meaning of Christmas to my heart. I had been asked to sing with a girl in my ward who I had never met, and we practiced once. But it turned out okay I think. We sang Silent Night a cappella because a pianist wasn't available. I think it went okay. I loved having my whole family (except for one that we missed dearly) in attendance as well. It truly was a great afternoon.
Nate and Tyler's Parowan family came by as well after church and brought some gifts and visited as well. It was nice to see them again and the boys look forward to spending some time with them this week. I'm going to miss them like crazy, but they have assured me they will take their cell phone and call me every time they miss me. If they can find the phone. Oy.


This Christmas was overall a great one. It taught me a lot about myself. On Christmas Eve, I ended up having a lot of anxiety over presents. We just didn't have a whole lot. I guess it seemed like a lot when we were buying stuff, but the boys had asked for specific things that were all expensive. Before bed, Tyler told me that he was really excited because Santa had told him he would try to bring a DS. My heart kind of broke a little as I had to explain that Santa wanted him to earn the money for one so he could appreciate it more, when in reality its because Santa is broke. Nate also had the same desires for some expensive gifts. Santa and I ended up getting them each 4 presents plus LOADS of candy and goodies. Which initially seemed like lots, but when I saw them all wrapped under the tree, didn't seem like much. Made me mad that I'm not making more money, that I'm not getting child support to help bear the financial load, that I'm just generally feeling like an epic fail of a parent for not being able to get them the stuff they really wanted. Luckily I have an amazing mom who helped me to come back down to earth (at midnight Christmas Eve) and realize that the holiday isn't all about the presents, and that I did my very best and do my very best to make sure my boys have what they need. I still couldn't sleep for fear my boys would wake up extremely disappointed. But I was wrong. They woke up and were soo very excited, thankfully. They were more excited about the notes that Santa and the reindeer left for them than the toys. I love my boys, they make me stop and pause....they help me remember whats important and what is not. And hopefully this time next year, I will have the ability to get them some things they truly want for Christmas. Hopefully I will have an awesome paying secure job, child support to help cushion things, or even better this divorce mess resolved and a new love to share the holiday with.
We Shall See.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Wierd Dreams



Has nothing to do with dreams...but I thought it was hilarous :) via google pics
 I rarely ever remember my dreams. And if I do, its rarely for longer than like 2 minutes. But the last two nights have brought on some seriously wierd and memorable dreams. Two nights ago I dreamed that I was about to be lynched up (as in rope around the neck) by a tow truck. The owner of the tow truck was a friend of mine and his soon to be wife. They were both there, and both were crying. It was obvious they didn't want to, but some unknown force was making them. For some reason I had kept the lynching a secret from my family so I kept asking if they could hold off until I got my matters settled. I needed to tell someone I was being hung and get matters settled so my boys would be taken care of. I remember in my head I was begging them to let me go but I knew deep down they couldn't so I didn't say anything out loud. I woke up before I actually got hung thank goodness, but still wierd all the same. Just for fun, I looked up the meaning of dreams. So here goes...

Hanging

To watch a hanging in your dream represents feelings of insecurity. The hanging may symbolize aspects of yourself that you want to eliminate.


To dream that you are hanging yourself suggests that you are trying to escape from some guilt or fear. Consider also the image as a pun for something in your life which you have left hanging or unfinished.

So I guess I may have unfinished business?

Next dream was last night. I don't remember much about the dream except that I lived in a beautiful house with a beautiful backyard. A client of mine from work was either visiting or lived with me, I'm not sure which. But we were out chatting on the back porch when all of a sudden out from the ground came ducks. They had darkened heads and beaks. And there were lots of them. And then pigs emerged. Same characteristics...dark heads and snouts. I dunno if they were zombie animals but I would assume so since they came up from the ground and all. They weren't dangerous though apparently, we weren't scared of them just a bit surprised to see a bunch of wierd looking animals popped outta the ground. So what does this mean?

Animals
 To see animals in your dream, represent your own physical characteristic, primitive desires, and sexual nature, depending on the qualities of the particular animal. Animals symbolize the untamed and uncivilized aspects of yourself. Thus, to dream that you are fighting with an animal signifies a hidden part of yourself that you are trying to reject and push back into your subconscious. Refer to the specific animal in your dream.

They didn't have ducks listed. Dang it. Soo.....better add in the zombie part to it.  

Zombie


To see or dream that you are a zombie suggests that you are physically and/or emotionally detached from people and situations that are currently surrounding you. You are feeling out of touch. Alternatively, a zombie means that you are feeling dead inside. You are just going through the motions of daily living.



To dream that you are attacked by zombies indicate that you are feeling overwhelmed by forces beyond your control. You are under tremendous stress in your waking life. Alternatively, the dream represents your fears of being helpless and overpowered


Well....I don't know how helpful any of that was....I wasn't dreaming that I was a zombie and I also wasn't being attacked by zombies. Interesting. I guess we shall see what I dream of tonight huh? On a fun note....scrolling through different things on the dream dictionary was kinda entertaining. Do you ever dream about.....

Barcodes? If so...here is what it means...

To see a barcode in your dream symbolizes automation, simplification and ease. Alternatively, the dream represents an impersonal relationship in your waking life. You are feeling alienated.

How about....Yaks?

To see a yak in your dream represents your uniqueness and dependability. The yak may also be a pun on "yakking" too much. Maybe you should stop talking and listen more.

I know I would be depressed if I was dreaming and looked in the mirror to find a....Unibrow.

To dream that you have a unibrow indicates that you are feeling insecure about your physical appearance. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are not expressing your feelings enough. Perhaps you are keeping too much of your emotions inside. There is something you are trying to hide.

And Urinals? Oh man....

To see a urinal in your dream signifies disorder in your personal relationships.

I know I dream about ARMPITS often hehe! Armpits? Wow...
To see/notice your or someone else's armpit in your dream, represents your social connections and your relationships to others. It is the characteristics and personality that you chose to display to the public. Alternatively, the dream may refer to something or some place that is smelly.


To smell your armpit in your dream, indicates that you are making some character adjustments in order to smooth over a situation or relationship. Alternatively, it suggests that you are looking for acceptance.

Ok thats about enough fun for today....but if you want to know more about your dreams or just get a good laugh, go to http://www.dreammoods.com/ . That is where I found all of this fantastic information.



And since this is my last post for a minute......










Thursday, December 22, 2011

A {REAL} Man

via http://www.snapknot.com/


If a Man Wants You

By: Salma Rumman

This advice was passed along to me from a counselor; it was great to hear so I wanted to share it.



If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve...
then heck no, you can’t "be friends." A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER feel he is more important than you are...even if he has
more education or in a better job.
 Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man.
If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you!

A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.


*Saw this and had to share. This...my friends and family....is why I am still single I've decided. As lonely as I am, I refuse to settle again. Absolutely refuse. I hope it doesn't kick me in the teeth....I'd hate to end up being the crazy old cat lady sitting on the front porch in a rocking chair throwing cats at people!




Zumba...again!

So....I got my Zumba last night as I predicted....and I tried to wait. And tried and tried for about a minute and then I couldn't wait any longer. The boys were excited to open it and it made me excited...so we opened it. And watched one of the bonus DVDs that had the live sessions. It's actually doable I think. And the boys loved it! They were dancing right along. It was great. I can't wait to get our Zumba on :) 



video

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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Zumba!

So every Christmas I generally just get myself something small that I need, like new makeup or some lotion or something. This year, since I bought early, I had a little bit of extra money. And I decided to spoil myself. So....I got myself ZUMBA! I have wanted to go to a class for quite some time but I just can't justify doing so since I have such limited time with the kids. I don't want to take away from that for a class. So...I prefer to do my exercising after they are in bed at night. So I was excited when I saw a killer deal for a Zumba set on Amazon with free shipping. It is expected to be here today or tomorrow. Its going to be hard to wait until Christmas to open it, but I'm going to do my best! I hoping that this will help kick my butt in gear. I've been bored with my normal exercise routines and I know someone who lost 112 lbs doing Zumba and is now an instructor. So....crossing fingers it helps. In case you aren't familiar with Zumba....here is an example. This is a class setting, and instructors use basic steps but personalize them to make it just a little different. This is my favorite routine that I've seen thus far. Enjoy :)

  Doesn't it look like sooo much fun?!

Monday, December 19, 2011

The Dentist


So it has been close to 10 years since I've been to the  dentist. It was before I was married....And my teeth are ridiculous. So I went to the dentist. Lesson number one why I will no longer slack at brushing and flossing....it took 1 1/2 hrs just to chip down the tarter buildup goin on with my teeth. It hurts. I hurt. And its progressively getting more sore.
Lesson number two of why I will no longer slack at brush and flossing.....a root canal, a crown, and like 8 little cavities. UGH!
So folks....brush. And floss. Every day. Better yet, twice or three times a day. Trust me....you'll be grateful you did 10 years down the road.
Lesson number three of why I will no longer slack at brushing and flossing...its going to cost around $850 after all the deductibles to get me all fixed up. Ouch.

So kids....remember to brush after every meal and before bed....and floss every day. Your teeth will thank you later.

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Christmas Shoes




As we were shopping for some final presents for family last night, we decided to get a movie. I found The Christmas Shoes. I LOVE that movie. But I forgot how much it makes me cry. I was reminded that it's not good to miss the good things in life by focusing too much on making money. And to remember charity. Nate couldn't sleep, so I agreed to let him watch it with me and as he was bawling his eyes out when the mom was about to die, he told me "Mom I don't want to lose you, please don't die." That made me cry even more and made me realize how petty I am being about my health and wellness (and really...life in general). I'm being selfish when I do things that lessen my chance for watching my kids grow up. Its pretty pathetic.
So I love the movie, I will watch it many MANY more times this Christmas season I'm sure and will most likely make my boys watch it to remember that Christmas isn't all about presents and Santa. And if you haven't seen it, I highly suggest Redboxing/Netflixing/Whatever you do it. :)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Mr Krugar's Christmas


For FHE last night I decided we needed a little Krugar. Mr Krugars Christmas to be exact. As a preface, it has really started to bother me how much society is focused on who gives the best gift, what kind of deal you got on the best gift, and what you get thats totally amazing. I have never noticed it until this season. More and more I see/read/hear about people just not being able to get in the spirit of Christmas this year. Several have noted the same feelings as me, there is way too much emphasis on the gifts and not enough on our Christ.

This is why we decided on Krugar Christmas. I haven't seen it in YEARS and my boys have never seen it. It was a good reminder of what this season is all about. I wanted to cry at how lonely poor Mr Krugar was and I did cry during the scene above. It touches me every time. You got it right Mr Krugar.....you got it right. I plan on doing the little things I can to serve others in need.

At the Relief Society Christmas thing we had there was a woman who talked about one Christmas only being able to give one gift to her children. That gift was a watch, and the purpose of the watch was that they would be giving their kids the gift of time. And that turned out to be one of the Christmas's her family remembered and cherished the most. So....that leads us to the next point.

We aren't having a huge Christmas this year. Not because we are financially strapped (well we kinda are....but not more than a normal single parent household....or anyone else in this horrible economy really) but because I am sick of the focus being on gifts. And no, my kids aren't being shafted....but every gift they recieve will have thought put behind it instead of just trying to keep up with what all the other kids around are getting. As will every gift that is given by us to others.


So after reading this, I kinda feel like I'm being a scrooge. Or a "grunch" as Ryder says. But I'm really not. I'm super excited for the holiday season and I love this time of year! I'm just going to focus on having a more Christ centered Christmas, which I think will make the season all the happier!



*If you haven't seen Mr Krugars Christmas, I highly suggest you do. You can Youtube the whole thing or I'm sure you could find the DVD on http://www.lds.org/.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Shhh Its A Secret

What I'm about to tell you is a secret. You ready? I hate exercise. Hate it. If I could go through life without having to exercise, I would be the happiest person ever. And know what else? I also realize thats the out of shape, lazy butt me talking. And I also realize thats probably not much of a secret. But moving on. I came across something I needed to hear.



"Set your alarm for 6am.
Don’t groan when it goes off and pull the covers over your head, get up and start your day.
Put on a baggy top and running shorts.
Go downstairs and pour yourself a nice big glass of ice water.
Cut up some fruit and mix it in with yogurt.
Add some granola.
Now go outside.
Stretch for 10 minutes.
Skip for 5 minutes.
Jog for 10 minutes.
Run for 10 minutes.
Walk back.
Lay out a towel on the ground and lie down on it.
Do 50 crunches.
Yes, they hurt, but they are 100% worth it.
When you’re done, get in the shower.
Use a nice smelling shampoo and matching conditioner.
Shave your legs and wash your body.
Exfoliate your face.
Get out of the shower and let your hair air dry.
Look in the mirror.
Do you like what you see?
If you do, good for you.


Do this every day and you will continue to love yourself.
If you don’t like what you see, do this every day and pretty soon you will.
Being lazy might feel good at the time, but being active feels better in the long run.
How badly do you want it?" 

 
Ok. Will do. Starting today (except I obviously have passed the 6 am mark...gonna have to go for the night time run tonight).
No more excuses.
 
*On another note....this is a SUPER busy week but it also has FANTASTIC stuff going on that could possibly be life changing. Or just fun. After the week is done....I'll do a re-cap and share :)

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Blogger...whats up huh?

So I am slightly irritated as I want a picture to go across my entire Header section, not just half of it. No matter what size or layout of picture I'm using, it's not workin out for me too well. I've even tried not clicking on the shrink to fit. So...if any of ya'll have any advice I'd be completely open to hearing it.

Moving on. I had an interesting experience yesterday. I had the opportunity to help someone last night and honestly I was a lot less sympathetic than I probably should've been. In my mind I was thinking "this person got themselves into this situation by making stupid decisions. Something like this was going to happen eventually." But...as the night went on....I ate a big dose of humble pie. How many times have I made a stupid decision that resulted in me being kicked down a little? Or a lot? Sure people were judgemental of me and some probably had the a similiar mindset as I did, but there were a select few that offered a hand, helped me up and dusted me off. So how was that any different? I just kept thinking "Ye who have sinned, cast the first stone." I was casting stones, so to speak, when I had no right to. That changed my mindset and made me realize I'm starting to become too quick at my judgements. So maybe its the Christmas season or maybe its just a change of heart, but I'm going to work on serving others more. And I'm going to work on teaching my boys the blessings of serving people. I really like the idea of RAK (random acts of kindness) and I think we will start implementing that into our daily lives. I urge you to as well, especially in this holiday season as many people are having to go without. The littlest things make a monumental difference to those in need. I'm gonna get on it....are you?

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

FHE


We had a fantastic day yesterday. After work, we went to dinner spur of the moment with Grandma, Betsy and Jack. The choice was Del Taco, and so far no sickness. I'm thinking the last time I ate there it must have been a coincidence that I was feeling yucky afterwards previously. Maybe. It was fun all the same. Afterwards I was really debating what to do for FHE. I'd had this lesson planned and we also wanted to go deliver treats. However, as we drove past the movie theatre the boys commented that we hadn't been out to a move in FOREVER! And they were right....the last movie we went to was Kung Fu Panda 2. So...we looked up times and after much debate (or rather Nate trying to convince everyone to go see Hugo) we decided on Arthur Christmas. But only after a pinky promise that we would see Hugo soon. It was such an adorable movie! I really liked it. The boys also really liked it and were surprisingly good in the theatre. It also helped we had the entire theatre to ourselves except for one man who sat down at the very front. I can't tell you how nice that was! No stressing over the kids jabbering during the movie and disturbing others. It really was a nice time. I was reminded why I usually wait for Redbox however....$26 just for our tickets. Ughh. But it was worth it to spend some time with my boys. 
In other news...I have some other things in the works for this week that I'm semi-looking forward to. We shall see how they go. Which is good, as I have been wondering if this struggling stuff is worth it in the end. It is. I also want to share a personality test we took in my AP class. I just need to figure a way to do it....anywho. Have a good day :)

Monday, December 5, 2011

This weekend

We had a pretty good weekend if I do say so myself. On Friday we decided that a movie night was in order, so we went and got The Smurfs, Super 8 and Water for Elephants (my "after kids are sleeping" movie). We all absolutely loved The Smurfs. Super 8 wasn't all that great, honestly. I wasn't impressed anyway. Water for Elephants was good, not one I would ever watch again.
Saturday we had a full day planned. We were going to clean the house and shop in the morning, then go see Santa, attend the Storybook Cavalcade and see the Tuba players in the afternoon. Then off to our ward Christmas party. Well, we heard that the parade was cancelled so we took a bit longer to clean and get ready to shop. Next thing I know...Ry is passed out on the couch. It is RARE that he actually naps on a weekend, so I wasn't about to wake him up. Finally I had to do it because we had to go shopping before our ward party (I was assigned mashed potatoes and needed to go buy some). We eventually made it to our party with potatoes in hand a half hour late. But there was still plenty of food and our tummies got full. After some grubbing and a few Christmas carols/stories....Santa showed up! Oh how Ryder was loving that. I was wondering how he was going to react....if it was going to be a screaming thing or a happy thing. It ended up being a very VERY happy thing as Santa gave an early Christmas present of goodies. And he officially put in a request for a shooting gun. Cause there are guns that don't shoot apparently.


Not sure whats going on with Nate's face...but they were all happy :)

Speaking of Santa....you would think at a church function people would be civil in the line for Santa right? Well, we got cut in front of like 3 times. Seriously folks...was it really that important for you to see Santa that you had to push the rest of the line back.... by a lot? Since you all had 3+ kids. Anyway moving on.
Sunday we had a fantastic lesson about keeping Christ in Christmas. We have a fun activity planned for FHE which I will share tomorrow that came from that lesson. As a random tangent....I am also going to be working on being more grateful for what I have this week. I think I've been in a slump the last month and it needs to stop. I know if I change my attitude, things will be much better. So....I'm working on the attitude change. Back to Sunday....we made some goodies for our neighbors as well that we are delivering as part of our FHE tonight and then headed to family dinner.
After a yummy Chinese dinner, the family whipped out the Christmas tree and got to decorating. It brought up memories of being a teenager and refusing to use the homemade ornaments becuase I thought they were ugly. My mom so kindly let me go choose all new decorations. Our tree was very classic and fancy for quite a few years. I saw those ornaments in the box and funny enough, I leaned towards the homemade ornaments. Funny how as you get older, the importance of those little trinkets are realized. I think this year we did a pretty good mix of fancy and homemade. I think the tree looks great. 

I shoulda done a close-up...but I like it anyway
This is my last week of school before finals. Finals are next week. I am lucking out BIG TIME as I only have two and they are not going to be cumulative. And I get to use notes on one of them! Awesome. Funny enough I am actually sad to see the semester go. As stressful as this semester has been, I have loved having the opportunity to go to school. I am very much looking forward to next semester. So...thats all. Hope ya'll have a good week!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Pray for them this Christmas Season...


I really loved this forward and need to pass it on. The pictures aren't the same as the forward because they wouldn't transfer over, but you get the point.


Regrets? I can't think of any.



















THE FINAL INSPECTION

The Soldier stood and faced God, which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining, just as brightly as his brass..
'Step forward now, Soldier, how shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek? To My Church have you been true?'
The soldier squared his shoulders and said, 'No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns, can't always be a saint.
I've had to work most Sundays, and at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent, because the world is awfully rough.
But, I never took a penny, that wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime, when the bills got just too steep.
And I never passed a cry for help, though at times I shook with fear..
And sometimes, God, forgive me, I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place among the people here.
They never wanted me around except to calm their fears.
If you've a place for me here, Lord, it needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much, but if you don't, I'll understand.
There was a silence all around the throne, where the saints had often trod.
As the Soldier waited quietly for the judgment of his God.
'Step forward now, you Soldier, you've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets, you've done your time in Hell.'


Author Unknown~





















It's the Soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.
It's the Soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.
It's the Soldier, not the politicians, that ensures our right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness..
It's the Soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag.

Pray for those who have given the ultimate sacrifice for freedom....

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Happy December 1!



The song above is what I sang at the Christmas party. It is an amazing song. I, however, was too nervous to sound very good, but I hope I did it justice. My mom played for me and she did fabulous. I wasn't planning on getting to that until later on, but all of my text is getting screwed up when I try to move the video to the bottom. So there it is.

Wow December started out with a bang! We woke up to a couple inches of snow and of course, in Cedar City's fine glory, roads that were either not plowed at all or just plowed enough to make it slippery and scary. Yay for winter! (thats being completely sarcastic...mind you.) Don't get me wrong, I love the snow. But not when I have to try to battle traffic in the stuff. On unplowed roads. With a bunch of people who think they can drive in the snow but then slide off and attempt to cause accidents for those behind them. Moving on. Being December 1, however, I am excited that the Christmas season has officially started for me and my family. Yay!! I'm looking forward to parades, Christmas lights and Santa. In fact, we went up to the famous house on the hill that always goes WAAAY above and beyond on Christmas Decorations. And...they aren't up. It almost makes me wonder if they decided that it was too much of an undertaking, or they didn't like having $1,000 power bills for December. I pray they were not an older couple and killed over. That would be sad since going up to see their house has become a bit of a family tradition for us. So if your out there and reading this....we love your house with lots of decorations and hope you are okay so that you can grace us with your awesomeness. I am also looking forward to our Ward Christmas Party on Saturday...its an UGLY SWEATER party!! I don't have any ugly sweaters, but we may have to make a DI run to get some.

Ok now on to my dearest Nate. I failed to post pictures yesterday because my phone was being retarded. However....here they are. They are awesome quality thanks to my phone...but they will do.

Recieving 2 belt loops and 7 arrows

Showing off his wolf stuff and his derby car

Happy December 1 everybody!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Goal Checking

As November comes to an end...its time to check in with myself and my goals for the end of this year. Here goes....

Health and Wellness Goals

Goal 1: Plan and execute menus every week: So far...I've not been doing great. I will plan them but then at the end of the night if it doesn't sound good....I make something else. At least I have the stuff on hand to make healthy alternates.
Goal 2: Track all food every day on my calorie count app: Success! Done and done...even on the horrid days where I went WAY over my cals.
Goal 3: Run 3 times a week and do weights the other 3 (1 rest day): Once again....slacking. I dunno why I can't get motivated. So I've made this a mini-week goal. So far I did some WiiFit stuff on Monday (I will count that as my weights day......) and yesterday I ran 2 miles (approx 40 min with warm up and cool down included)

School Goals
Goal 4: Read out of one of my textbooks every night (this has been especially hard with my accounting book): Yeah....next topic.
Goal 5: Study (having issues figuring out how I study best): Ummm doing slightly better but not much. Still needs improvement.
Goal 6: Attend class every day unless there is sickness or death in the family: I missed one class due to needing to turn in a paper for a different class....but otherwise I'd say success!
Family Goals
Goal 7: Do homework as a family every night: Meh. Moving on.
Goal 8: Eat dinner at the table as a family: This is a hit or miss, however we have been eating together every night. Just depends on if its at the table or on the couch...
Goal 9: Work on sticking to bedtime routine: We are doing better....its hit or miss but so far doing pretty good.
Religious Goals
Goal 10: Have FHE every Monday night: I am loving that we are now officially in the habit of doing this. Nate is still iffy on whether or not he likes to participate...but eventually he climbs on board and we all have a fun time. We've been making our own treats as well which is the favorite part of the whole night for them. Success!
Goal 11: Read the Book of Mormon every night (long term goal is to have it read before the end of the year): Again...just depends on the night. I would say our average is like 4 out of 7 nights.
Goal 12: Have family prayer every day: We do pretty good...some days we miss but mostly we can get this done.
Financial Goals
Goal 13: No using the overdraft account: Still doing better, but not quite good enough to call it a success.
Goal 14: Put money aside in savings: Haha thats a joke....although once my financial situation stabilizes I have a big plan. I'll share that when the time comes.
Goal 15: Get Christmas bought ahead of time while I still have money: Kids are done...check. Jack is done...check. Parents are done...check. Ok Alaska crew......I need a christmas list....
Time for some Happy Moments!
 
*People are finally starting to say I look like I'm trimming down again. Yay!
 
*Nate got his Wolf Scout last night....and also got 1 golden arrow and 6 silver arrow. I am soo very proud of him!
 
*Tonight is the Relief Society Christmas party. I am singing....pray for me not to mess up!
 
*There are only 2 weeks left of school then I'm on Christmas break with my kiddos. Soo very excited!
 

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Thankful Heart



via google images
 I had 5 glorious days off from work and school that I used to their full potential. I started out the wonderful holiday being sick. I don't know if I got the flu or food poisoning, but it wasn't fun. However come Thursday I felt good enough to go to dinner so away we went. My brother had gotten a Smoked Turkey from Sonny Boys that is amazing. Seriously, I'm hooked on the stuff now. Too bad the place is soo pricey. We did NOT participate in the craziness of Black Friday though. Besides being broke, I also really don't like crowds enough to go camp out all night to throw elbows for stuff. Plus did you here about all of the the havoc that ensued around the country? I don't understand how people can get soo violent over material things. Is it really sooo important to you to have a new TV for $200 that you are willing to hurt your fellow man in order to get it? To me, it's not worth it. But to those who may read this that are die hard Black Friday shoppers....I have no intentions of offending and I think its great if you are able to get some things you would like at a deal. It is just not something I will be participating in anytime soon. Cyber Monday however? I love that idea. No crazy crowds and you still get good deals if you are needing to buy Christmas stuff. Anyway...on from Black Friday. The rest of the weekend went off without a hitch and we just pretty much spent the time hanging out as a family and bonding. It was soo very nice. Now the purpose of this whole post....as I was thinking about my life last night and the direction I want it to go in with this new year....I realized that I do a whole lot of complaining (and probably won't stop anytime soon hehe) and not enough being grateful. Sooooo its time again for grateful moments.

*I am grateful that I have my little apartment that I love. I feel more at home here than I have in a very long time. Granted, its on the brim of the Ghetto area and I really am not impressed with how they are managed now....and also think they need to get a new maintainance guy. However, for some reason I really do feel at home there and it helps me know I made a good decision in moving.

*A new ward that is fantastic. I had my doubts at first, but as I've tried to be more sociable and outgoing I have been rewarded. I feel a part of things there and also feel like it is where I need to be right now. Yet another proof to me that I made a good decision in moving.

*Coming to the realization that I need to live each day in the present. By doing this, I have been able to focus on my losing chub goal as I have been tracking daily on My Fitness Pal. Thus far, I have lost 19 lbs (about 10 of it was WW help...the other 9 was what I had gained back after quitting WW). The key for me is not focusing so much on "dieting" as just simply eating healthier and getting in my exercise. I have my goals set up on there to lose 1.5 lbs a week and it gives me the tools to do such. And best of all...it's EASY! I am blessed to have a phone app for MFP that helps immensely.

*Soo very grateful for my friend Erin who has decided to be my weight loss buddy. We check in with each other every Sunday and it definitely helps to have someone to be accountable to. And if anyone is looking to lose a little and want to report in on Sunday morning weigh ins...let me know! We check in via Facebook.

*I am grateful as well for the future. It looks soo very promising for me if I can keep my nose clean and stay on the slow and steady path. Truly...I think I have great things in store for my little family. I cannot wait for this new year to come....I'm ready for 2011 to be done.

As a side note....I hope the end of the world is not on December 21, 2011 or on January 1, 2012. I still have a ways to go before I'm ready to meet my maker. And there are a lot of things I would like to experience for that time comes. Which also makes me realize that this life is short and I need to live each day like it's my last. Which I'm sure I'll forget in an hour, however I'm going to try really hard to keep to that...and I encourage you all to do that too. :)



Monday, November 28, 2011

Niko's Song (San Diego State University 2011)




This video was posted by a friend who has a friend (who has a friend of a friend haha! Thats alot of friendly stuff) that is deployed...and his wife wrote this song. It's soo very heartfelt, made me cry. She's been entered in a contest and it would be fantastic if ya'll could go "like" the video on Youtube. That would be great! Thank you! Another post coming soon.....

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Funny funny kids

As Bill Cosby would say...."Kids say the darndest things!" and my kids are no exception.
Nate has had a recent dramatic flair going on and Grandma had to talk about him not being so dramatic when people hit him in the "junk". So last night on the car ride home we were discussing how bringing attention to private areas of our body can draw in people in who want to hurt us and that no one should touch private areas except for yourself and doctors if it is medically necessary. That led to a rousing conversation between the boys about not aiming their "junk" while peeing and how it would fly everywhere and it would just be the funniest thing ever. There were hand gestures and sound effects and everything. They were laughing soo hard it was hard not to smile, but it makes me wonder how on earth I got blessed with 3 boys as that is not something I would discuss on a regular basis. Got to love them :)

Since it is the day before Thanksgiving, I just want to express my gratitude for a minute. I am soo very grateful for my family. They are supportive, helpful and push me to succeed. They keep me on track and make sure my boys know they are loved. I'm also grateful for my boys of course. We have many moments of laughing and many moments of being in trouble, but I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. I am grateful to my wonderful friends who have been there for me. They love and support me in all things and I absolutely love each and every one of them. I am grateful for the knowledge I have in my Heavenly Father and knowing that if I do my part, I can return to him someday. Knowing he loves and cares for me is about the only thing that gets me through some days and I am eternally grateful for the fact that I was raised in a home that was filled with the spirit.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Hmmmmm

This has been a thought provoking weekend. Saturday we went for the free swim put on by South Elementary for their healthy living week. I got a massive leg workout (they are still sore today) from "racing" the boys around the lazy river with Ryder latched on my back or riding up front. After 45 minutes of that...I think I can honestly say I burnt off the calories I had for dinner. It really was soo much fun. Nate is quite the popular kid, as is Tyler. I didn't see either of them much as they were off playing with friends. It was kind of fun to see them interact with their classmates.
Sunday was a really good day as well. Our stake presidency taught in Sunday School and it helped me to know that we aren't perfect and we aren't going to be perfect. We can just do the best we can and rely on the big guy upstairs for the rest, as he is our key to our salvation. Keeping close to him will help us stay headed in the right direction. On Sunday we also got in some great family time and yummy supper...but also got the sad but fantastic news that my brother and sis in law are moving. I truly think this is going to be a wonderful move for them. It help them grow as individuals and as a family, but I can't help being a little selfish in saying that I'm going to miss the beejeezies out of them. I truly wish them the best and plan on visiting as often as we can. And quite honestly, I didn't think I would be effected as much as I am by their moving. I didn't realize how close I feel I've grown to them. I really am going to miss them like crazy but I am soo happy that they are moving upward and onward with their lives and couldn't be more supportive. So I love you guys like crazy and I really wasn't planning on dedicating almost an entire post to you, but just know you guys have made a footprint in my life.
Anywho...this week has some good things in it. Thanksgiving of course, but also some possible new opportunities that I hope and pray are meant to be. Its going to be a good week. I hope ya'll have a good week as well.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Some funnies

With life kind of being on the downward slope at the moment I think its a good day to focus on the funny moments we've had. One in particular has to do with Nate. A month or so ago while I was in Salt Lake, Mom had mentioned something to the boys about the draft and how at 18 the boys had to sign a form saying they would go to war if needed or something like that. Well when I got back and we were eating dinner, he kept worrying about having to go to war. He did not want to have to go to war. The military life was not one he was wanting to go into right now. It was kind of humorous because he was really worried about this and couldn't stop talking about it. Well I talked him down enough that I was pretty sure he realized that he didn't HAVE to join the military, signing a draft just meant that if we went to war and there weren't enough soldiers, he would be called up but that the chances of that happening weren't very high.
Well he will mention stuff now and then about the military and how he thinks maybe he'd like to be a mechanic in the military or maybe a barber. I didn't think anything more about it until this morning when he told me that as soon as he is 13 he will be going to Evans Hairstyling School to become a barber and he sure hoped he wasn't the only boy. I told him that he couldn't go to college, even Evans, until he was at least in high school or finished high school depending on what classes he took. I wish I could've taken a picture of his face....it was priceless. He was all sorts of forelorn and just said "Well shoot, that means I'm only going to get one good year of college in before I have to go to war....." I couldn't help but smile for a couple reasons. Based on his logic, he assumed it would take roughly 5 years to complete cosmotology school, and also that he was still thinking about the draft thing. I know, I know....I'm not very nice for thinking it's funny because he was dead serious but still. I explained that unless he was planning on enlisting in the military he wasn't going to be going to war any time soon, and even if he did enlist that they encouraged going to school at the same time. His whole body relaxed and he seemed okay after I told him it was okay to go to school still. So he decided that joining the military might not be soo bad and he might like it. I still don't think he comprehends that its his choice whether or not he enlists. Who knew that this subject would be so thought provoking in an 8 year old! I'm hoping that I eased some of the stress, but its going to be interesting to see what future plans of his are kiboshed by that pesky draft haha!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Random highlights

This weekend was a relatively calm one. Friday I didn't have work (a BIG woohoo for that one....) so I spent the day doing homework and completely finished my online class. I also made an appointment to see my advisor to talk about switching majors. I will see her tomorrow. It seriously was a fantastic day. Saturday the boys REALLY wanted to put up the Christmas tree so I told them we had to move furniture around so it would fit. After we got that all done, the Wii mysteriously started working. I think it was a bad surge protector myself...but the Wii was enough to distract the boys from Christmas trees for one more week. They played TMNT until dinner time. Speaking of dinner time, preface this by saying there are a few foods in this world I love. Those include potatoes of any variety and cheese. I made my all time favorite soup, Mom's cheese soup. A big pot of cheesy deliciousness with veggies, lots of cheese and potatoes (yes I know they are a veggie but they need a seperate category). And the boys wouldn't touch it. I had to threaten early bedtime for them to even take one bite. This said....I think they are not of my DNA. I know I carried them in my tummy, I know they came from me, but I really think they have some alien DNA or something. How can my boys not like 2 of my most favorite foods of all time? Its a mystery to me.
Anywho...back to the weekend. Sunday we slept in past conference (I know....) so we had a family day of just hanging out together and watching movies and such. It was a good day. The only reason I'm including the next little bit is because Mom and Dad thought it was hilarous. I got back from a meeting I was at and it was already 5, so I needed to start grilling the chicken. The VT were there so I didn't feel like I wanted to interupt dad to start the grill. So Ry and I headed out with some matches in hand to turn on the grill. We turned the gas to high (mistake number one), lit the match and threw it in the grill. It didn't start up so I leaned in (mistake number 2) to see why, as if leaning in would provide the answers to all of life's mysteries or something, and then POOF! Seriously...the grill looked a little something like this...


but insert a picture of my head right in the middle of it. Seriously...not my brightest moment. We didn't get hurt, I didn't even get singed eyebrows or anything it just scared the bejeezies out of me. And Ry...oh so funny. He jumped about 20 ft in the air and wasn't quite sure what to think of it. It was kinda funny....
Yesterday brought me awesome news of doing FANTASTIC on my Microeconomics test and having it bring my grade up from an F to a C. I attribute it to Moms little notebooks. The night before I went and wrote down the billions of equations and how to solve them step by step in this little notebook she gave me. That is the only thing I did differently from the last test that I completely bombed...so I say that made the difference this time. Then when I got off work, we decided to go to Brad's Food Hut for dinner which was absolutely delish and we had great company to dine with too. For FHE we ended up forgoing a lesson and such since we didn't get home until around 7, so we went straight to making cookie pops. They actually turned out pretty good.

I had many more pictures, but for some reason they didn't email over and I already deleted them from my phone. Dangit. Oh well. Well thats all folks...hope ya'll have a great day!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Veterans Day

via google images
Today I just want to say thank you to all of the Veterans out there. Anyone that knows me knows that I am a huge fan of the military because they sacrifice time away from their families and friends, risk their lives daily and do it all willingly to keep my  family and I safe. I truly can't express how much I respect those who have served, still serve and those that have given their lives to keep us free. I also have a lot of appreciation and respect for the families of those that serve. They sacrifice having their spouses, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, dads, moms, grandparents, etc home safe with them so that they can be out in less than desirable circumstances fighting for our freedom. So thank you, veterans, you always have and will always have a special place in my heart. Oh...and you look really good doing it too :)

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Time to Check In

Today is a check in for me. The goals I listed in October I'm still working on, so lets see how its going.

Health and Wellness Goals



Goal 1: Plan and execute menus every week: With the exception of one week that was extremely crazy, I have successfully completed this goal every week since posting.

Goal 2: Track all food every day on my calorie count app: In the last 30 days, I have missed 5 days. Still a work in progress but pretty dang good. My goal is to HONESTLY log every single day in November.

Goal 3: Run 3 times a week and do weights the other 3 (1 rest day): I have honestly been slacking at this one. But this is a new week. On Monday I did 40 minutes of weights from my 6 week body makeover plan and yesterday I started over with the C25K. And the best part....I shaved a full minute off of my mile. The quickest I've been able to walk/job a mile has been 20 minutes. Last night I did it in 19 minutes. I was seriously doing a happy dance while trying not to fall off the treadmill! Soo happy. Small things like that make me realize that I am making progess, even if I can't see it yet.

School Goals

Goal 4: Read out of one of my textbooks every night (this has been especially hard with my accounting book): Honestly, I haven't been doing great at this. It needs serious improvement.

Goal 5: Study (having issues figuring out how I study best): Again, struggling. However I figured out yesterday that after jogging I retain more information for some reason. I have a test today and I feel pretty prepared for it after studying last night.

Goal 6: Attend class every day unless there is sickness or death in the family: I have done well with this. I missed one day on Monday due to some serious stress...so I think thats great overall. Its crazy to think there are only 4 weeks until Finals. I luckily won't have any major finals (I think) but its crazy how fast this semester has gone by.

Family Goals

Goal 7: Do homework as a family every night: We have been doing good at this. Nate does his homework at school, but Ty does his and reads to me just about every night. We aren't doing perfectly, but its getting there.

Goal 8: Eat dinner at the table as a family: Depending on the day, we do okay. Some are better than others...but this is still a work in progress.

Goal 9: Work on sticking to bedtime routine: So far so good, for the most part. There were a couple late nights that we had to skip story time but all in all doing good.

Religious Goals

Goal 10: Have FHE every Monday night: We have been doing great with this...check!

Goal 11: Read the Book of Mormon every night (long term goal is to have it read before the end of the year): I found a section in my gospel library app that has the kids stories for all of the scriptures, so we are currently working on the Book of Mormon and are to Chapter 8.

Goal 12: Have family prayer every day: This area for the most part is going well, we've had some days that we've skipped but its definitely an improvement from before.

Financial Goals

Goal 13: No using the overdraft account: Doing better but still not great yet....work in progress.

Goal 14: Put money aside in savings: Haha thats a joke....

Goal 15: Get Christmas bought ahead of time while I still have money: This is actually going great. The kids are pretty much done so whats left is family and friends.

On looking back, its nice to know that improvements are being made in most areas. Obviously there are some areas I need to work on more than others, but its comforting to know that things are improving somewhat.
Have a great day!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Really Hard Days

Its been a minute...I'm sorry. The weekend was good, we just chilled out and I totally needed the relaxing. It snowed and I absolutely loved it. I've been ready for snow and for the winter season to start. On Sunday we had a good time at church and I ended up having to play the piano in Relief Society. One song I knew and the other I didn't, so I asked the director if she could play the last song and it ended up going well. This is leading somewhere I promise. That will come later.
Yesterday was an extremely hard day for me. I really wanted to just go home and throw in the towel. But ironically, in my probation class we had presenter come in from CAPS (Counseling and Psychological Services) to discuss the signs of stress and unbalance in our lives. It was rather ironic because everything he was discussing was relevant to my life. It made me realize that maybe I'm not as in balance as I thought....and alot of my disconnect could be tied to some stress/emotional/depression related issues. I'm planning on heading into their office this week to see if I can get this figured out. I keep trying to talk myself out of it by justifying why I don't need the help, but deep down I know I do. I think I'll be much happier when I can get in balance.
After all was said and done it was sure nice to be home. Grandma had taken the boys to get new shoes and haircuts. Tyler is soo funny, he is so very proud of his new boots. They are "grown up" boots he says so he feels much more grown up with them on. As I was making dinner I got a call from one of the Relief Society counselors (the girl who was directing music Sunday) and she was calling to see if I would sing for the Christmas Party coming up. She had been listening to me sing on Sunday and thought I had  pretty voice, and they were looking for someone to sing during a slideshow of Christ's life. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, but I'm really happy to be able to serve. I think thats just what I needed.
We also had a good FHE last night. Ryder surprised me by answering questions with "we go into the water and we get baptized." It made my heart melt and just made me all around happy. Afterwards, we made some homemade moon pies. The kids enjoyed them and loved helping me make them.
Our moon pies
I'm really hoping that today and the rest of the week is better. Friday I will have a free day to get some things done and I am looking forward to it like crazy. I have my appointment for career counseling that day and also plan on sucking it up and going into CAPS. It will be a good day for me to get ahead on my homework too.
Heres to hoping that you all and myself have a fantastic rest of the week!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Slacker!

Yes...I have been kind of a slacker at this blog thing lately. I may post something little, but nothing monumental for the most part. I think I'm in a blogging slump. So heres to some random stuff and gratitude to kick off the weekend.

*I successfully completed Day 1 of my C25K program yesterday and came in under my calorie goal as well (tracking with MyFitnessPal.com. Awesome site). I feel amazing when I eat right and exercise...I always wonder how I get off track. I have found a nice little group of friends on the MyFitnessPal community, and they are super supportive. Anytime anyone has a landmark, no matter how big or small...there are high fives (so to speak) all around. Its really great to know that there are people that are like you who are working towards the same goal...and that it can be done!

*I have a silly confession....I enter the PCH drawing every day in hopes I will become an instant millionare and get $5k a week for the rest of my life. Chances are like, 1 in 70 billion that I will win, but its still a guilty pleasure. And if I were to ever win, I have it all planned out. I would pay off my debts, buy a house and buy a new car. Then I would give my parents and siblings (and their families of course) whatever money they needed to pay off any debts they had. I would then take the family on a vacation somewhere fun. After that, I would donate to my church, my school and a couple other foundations. I would set some aside to finish school of course, and possibly open my own business when that was complete. I would set aside enough to live on while I went through school and the rest I would stock away in interest bearing accounts and invest.
I know....I have way too much time on my hands. But it mostly happens at night when everything else is done and I can't sleep...in my defense.

*I have been getting increasingly more irritable to be around when the boys are around. I feel bad for this but have realized its because they are really slow at doing EVERYTHING I ask them do to and for once I'd really enjoy having them just do what I ask without playing around. Working on ways to get that to happen short of capital punishment. Any ideas anyone? Seriously....if you got anything please share. I'd like to be back to enjoying my kiddos every minute or at least most the time.

*I'm still in Limbo about school/work....but we shall see what happens. Got some feelers out there. If you work somewhere thats hiring and makes a decent wage (something more than minimum wage) and has a flexible schedule...hit me up.

*And finally...I am eternally grateful for the women in my life. I love them all dearly. I know they got my back and I hope they know I got theirs too. {Sorry Betsy, I had to steal the picture. It did turn out good. :)}


The girls except for a sister....who we miss terribly. Just FYI.


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Gratitude and Sadness all mushed together

So there are a couple things I have been thinking about lately. I'm not so good at organizing my thoughts as anyone who's read this probably already knows, so expect some scattered thoughts. Last night as we were eating...I realized how grateful I am to have such a great and loving family. Without them, I know I would be struggling immensely. I know I have a safe haven there and it has given me alot of reassurance.

Between two qoutes, celeb gossip and recently obtaining my patriarchical (sp?) blessing (PB) after not having it for nearly 10 years...I have a different outlook on marriage. On one side, I truly ache for when I have someone to love. I see happy families all around and at times I do wonder who on earth would be crazy enough to be able to put up with me and my crazy boys. But then I see the two qoutes....






Both of these pretty much sum up what I want in a man...and make me realize that I deserve nothing less than that. And I am willing to wait to have those blessings come to me. How does celeb gossip come into to play? I'm sure anyone who keeps up with the news knows the big marriage of Kim K lasted a whole 72 days. It took longer to plan the wedding than the actual marriage actually lasted. This isn't new...there are several celebs out there who have marriages that end as quickly as that one, and sometimes even more quickly. The sacred institute of marriage has been completely bashed apart and destroyed by society. People pretty much assume that they will have 2 or 3 marriages and hopefully it all works out eventually. What happened to sticking it out in hard times and in good times? What happened to working out problems together instead of just getting divorced? It didn't hit me until all of the buzz about that divorce has been flying around. Its sad. Seriously.
The PB made me tells me that in time a boy will take me to the temple. When I am looking, I need to look for someone who has a strong testimony, a love of the church and wants the same end result as me (eternal family). If I am faithful, this will happen. But I need to be prepared for him as well....and thats the part I need to work on. I don't think I'm quite prepared yet. And...I'm willing to wait until I find that person. No matter how envious I get when I see happy couples....I will be remembering that I have a wonderful man waiting for me, I just need to get prepared so that when the time is right, I'll be ready.

Enough of marriage and love. The housing industry is killing me right now. More than ever I see politicans coming out with things that are completely ridiculous, just to boost their ratings. For instance, I posted yesterday about the foreclosure reviews. Fantastic idea and I encourage people to look into it. However after listening to a conference call on the subject...they said the benefit was "having someone take a second look." No compensation has been determined, they aren't prepared for the overload of people who will most likely want to have their accounts looked at, and they are expecting to pay third party sources for the review but want the housing agencies who are starting to shut down for lack of funding take time out to find these people, help with the paperwork, and follow through....yet they won't give us any compensation. At all. So to me, this is just another political program that will not work but is put out so that someone in DC can look good. I really hope I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. This is a program that has good intentions but is being rolled out before its ready. The OCC figured we'd have their backs and be all excited...which we are to a point...but not when it means additional work for us and no outcome or extra pay. That not only makes their program ridiculous, but it makes us seem uneducated. Bad news on all fronts.

My last thought is about the school/work dynamic. I feel like I'm in limbo and I don't like it. I want to know whats going on so that I can plan. Its coming time to register for classes, and if I have to find a full time job and leave school, I don't want to register. However if I delay much longer then I will miss the classes I need if I do end up staying. I feel strongly I need to stay, so thats the route I'm taking for now. But I can't survive on my good looks....so somethings got to give. Maybe I'll win the lotto. Or the PCH. I have been entering daily in hopes. :)