Freak

I am about tired of this month, and its only half way done. I have had 3 loans that I swear anything that could go wrong has gone wrong on, two of which are resolved but one of which is not. Which is frustrating. I have looked back in hindsight and have seen ways I can learn from my mistakes for the next time, but it doesn't help my demolished confidence any for the moment. And on the one that's not fixed yet, I have absolutely no pull whatsoever to fix it and that really irritates me. The only thing I can do is bug and bug and bug (and believe me I have) to get things done. But in the end, it is what it is and I just have to hold my head high and pray for strength to get through it all.
Which brings me to the moving issue, again. I got my hopes up for buying a house but quite frankly, my credit is shot enough that this will not be a possibility for a very long time. I have other things of priority I need to take care of before I can shell out cash to fix my credit. And lately....St George has been calling my name. Again. More so than it has for quite some time actually. There is a cute little place in the same subdivision as one of my co-workers that I looked at last summer, and its coming open again this summer. It's in my price range and in a good/convenient area of town. I was worried about what to do with my kids during the summer until I found a summer program that runs the duration of the summer (not just a few days at a time) at a fantastic school in St George called Valor Hall. The program details didn't list cost but my daycare bill runs around $1100/mo for all three kids during the summer so.....can't get much worse than that. So things seem to be falling in place for a move there, except that the boys are now in a play here (Beauty and the Beast) and they will be busy with that all summer. Le Sigh.
I am really tired of not knowing what's next. I am ready for a miracle to happen or some higher power to shout whisper down where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing (and maybe where I can find a new significant other.....). I don't know. I hate this limbo thing. I've been in limbo for a year now (next month actually!) and I'm tired of it. I want to settle down sooo badly not only for me but for my boys. It is sooo rough on them to move around every few years, but every move had a purpose and there wasn't a better option at those times. But still. I'm tired of moving. I want to be settled. I want a perfect situation to fall in my lap and everything to work out exactly as I want it to happen. But alas, life is not perfect.
Anywho....rant over. Time to move on. Thanks for listening ya'll, have a great week.