Very Thankful

pretty flowers i found at a nursery here

In church on Sunday we had a lesson that incorporated being thankful for the kind deeds that others have done for us. I am so very blessed. I don't thank the people around me near enough for the kind things they do for me. The lesson, however, got me thinking about 4 years ago tomorrow when Grayson came into my life. I had sooo many kind people surrounding me during that time. Each played an important role for me and really helped me get through things a little better than I'm sure I would've without them.

To my parents, thank you for supporting me even though the circumstances weren't the greatest. Mom, thank you for sticking with me even when I tried to push you away. You saw past my tough act and stuck in there with me, and I appreciate you very much for that. Thank you for letting me cry and helping me know that was okay. Thank you for your patience with me and trying to understand what I was going through.

To my dad and my brother, thank you for giving my baby his blessing. I can't imagine how difficult that may have been for you but you willingly stepped up to the plate and you have no idea how much I am truly appreciative. That blessing is something that I hold dear. It gave and still gives me reassurance that my boy looking down on our family and isn't just lost in oblivion somewhere.

Thank you to the rest of my family for stepping up and being there for me when I needed you. Thank you for visiting me and offering your love and support. Thank you for remembering my son and counting him as part of our family. You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you Steph for remembering every year that it's his birthday and checking in on me. I love you all.

Thank you to my dear friend Michelle. You took time out to sit with me in the hospital and helped me keep my mind off things. You helped pass the time and showed your love for me and my family. You are a beautiful soul and I am blessed to have you as a friend.

Thank to you to my dear friends Jarrod and Staci. Thank you for always being supportive and loving towards me and my boys. Thank you soo much for thinking to contact the NILMDTS photographer, I never would've thought to do that on my own and didn't even know they existed. And even if I had, with everything going on I probably wouldn't have done that on my own. Those pictures are soo special to me. I cherish them and keep them close. Thank you.

Thank you to my dear friends Tyler and Mande, who have always offered us love and support. I know your there and supportive whenever I need you. Thank you for helping us celebrate his birthdays with balloons. Thank you for your friendship, we love you guys.

Thank you to all of my co-workers at the time. Thank you Lisa from the school, who rallied up the troops and brought over meals for myself and my family. That helped so much. Thank you to Amanda and the co-workers at my other job for pooling money to help with costs/purchasing my remembrance necklace.

Thank you to everyone else who was supporting and caring for myself and my boys at that time and now. All of you had a deep impact in my life and there are not enough words in the world to express my gratitude for helping us be strong and endure.

I am thankful for my boys.They asked today when we were going to get a grave for Grayson. They so badly want somewhere we can visit  him, even if it's just his spirit we are visiting. Someday we will be able to afford one, someday. I love when Ryder asks about Grayson and wants me to talk about him. I love that they want to celebrate his birthday just as if he was here with us. They even want to have a birthday party for him tomorrow, complete with cake. Man I love them, sooo much.

And finally, to my sweet angel Grayson. Thank you for being a constant companion to us all. Your in my heart always and I think of you often. I know you are watching down on us and encouraging us to be our best. I am sorry I couldn't do more for you during your short life, but you have blessed me tremendously. I know you served your purpose to me and were too pure of a soul for this world. I love you more than life itself and cannot wait to be with you. I send you my love, my sweet angel, until we meet again.

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these....He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
     -excerpt from Mommy, Please Don't Cry