On a new kick

I have had some interesting thought provoking experiences the last probably two weeks. Its causing me to think.

My brothers stuff and all that was involved with that,

a conversation with the ex,

watching Eat Pray Love,

the whole Christmas season and seeing the sparse gifts under the tree,

and going to see True Grit with dad.

These have all brought on some interesting thoughts and some new found motivation for change. And I really don't like setting resolutions for New Years because they rarely come true. But it just so happens this motivation comes at this time of year. Anyway...what I hope to achieve in the coming months (not News Years resolutions...just goals):

-Put a couple dollars away every paycheck and truly start saving
-My dang eating healthier goal (I was doing good then got hindered by the holidays. Starting fresh now)
-Getting set right with my life
-Becoming more involved (not is a psycho way) with whats going on in my family
-Learning the concepts of the movie Eat Pray Love (I need to learn pretty much everything she learned on her trek I'm just not sure how. I'm sure it will come with these other goals and time)
- Get this dang divorce stuff finally handled and kids protected

I have already seen some improvements with some of my issues and feel I'm on a new path thats much better than where I was.

And every time I think I can't do it...I have visions of the unbathed monsterously huge white trash lady sitting on the front porch of a horribly run down house, smoking with beer in hand, watching 20 horribly dirty and unhealthy looking offspring run around the yard with the most recent boyfriend who also has smoke and beer in hand (I pass this household on my way home almost every day) and how I soooooo do not want to be like that ever.

So it gives me inspiration to trudge on and accomplish my goals for a better me and a better life or my kiddos.

And I can appreciate how far I've come from a year ago...

but life is all about change and I need to embrace that.

Things are constantly changing.

So am I.