Friday, July 29, 2011

Disecting Manipulation

For the past little while, I've been exposed to a person who really likes to manipulate situations. I don't know if this person does it intentionally or if it happens subconciously, but either way its starting to get really really old. As I was talking to my mom about it last night, she brought up the point that maybe this person was doing the things they were doing to control the situation. Or maybe they were insecure. Its a possibility they would be threatened by me (which I still don't understand, I'm not a very threatening person I don't think) and so they would feel the need to tear me down to make them feel better. Or a combination of everything.

This person is not a horrible person. In fact, I really enjoy being around this person. They are kind, charitable and funny, when they want to be. However, I'm not so much enjoying the fact that I've become a target for the not so nice characteristics and this it where the above comes into play. I'm not sure why I have become the target.

I know that during the last couple years I've become a stronger and more confident person. I've truly grown. I have more confidence with the things I do in every area of my life. And I've learned that always fantastic to have skill of "fake it until you make it".

So I this person seeing that I am no longer intimidated by them and they don't like it? Or are they realizing that they don't have control over me like they thought they did? Our relationship has goes through waves. We will do really good and get along great and then BAM something happens and I get torn to shreds. Then we will do really good again and something happens and BAM, torn to shreds again. It's coming to the point where I'm not even affected (in the way this person wants anyway) by whats going on any longer. Instead of being hurt and wondering what I did wrong, I now just get irritated and angry. But maybe thats a good thing for me? I'm not letting myself get torn down anymore.

I know this person thrives on people who suck up and stroke their ego, and I have never been the type to do that. If I say something nice or give a compliment, it is because I actually mean it, not because I'm sucking up. So I guess either I will have to learn  how to deal with this somehow, or just do my best not to interact with this person as infrequently as possible. Wish me luck!


  1. You know, I just started this book last night another single mom (one I highly respect) recommended to me called Loving What Is and it uses your examinations of other people to come to better understandings of yourself. It's FREAKY and I'm scared but I'm really looking forward to it. This friend would be the perfect kind of situation to start with.

  2. I will have to look into that book. I'm a sucker for trying to understand myself and others better. Thanks for the recommendation!