Monday, June 27, 2011
Sleepovers, Crazy-ness and Thoughts
This weekend was crazy. We had Nate's friend come over for a sleepover which caused me wierd anxiety for some reason. But I think it turned out okay. Maybe. The kid was different. Either I'm a bad parent or his parents are super over protective. Example: he wouldn't use the open toothpaste because the lid was off and it was "yucky". His parents never let him help cook...my kids were making eggs and waffles Saturday morning. His mom never lets him go to Discovery Park (where we went...pic above) because he will get lost. We didn't get lost. However he did collide and bump into Nate...and it "hurt so bad!!!" but when I wasn't very sympathetic to the cause he quit crying and started playing again. It made me appreciate that my kids are tough but makes me wonder if I need to be more sympathetic? Or not let them be so independent? I dunno.
Sunday was the new church experience. It was wierd. I know I didn't like my old ward previously...but after all was said and done I was starting to feel comfortable there. This new ward? Not so much. I got asked to teach the 7 year olds in Sunday School and as nervous as I am for this, after going to the regular Sunday School stuff I am looking forward to it. But nervous because of my next order of business...
As all know...I've applied for school. I wrote my letter to the Review Committee and they will be reviewing it on Wednesday. I just got an email saying that the girl in charge will let me know what they decide as soon after they review as possible. So....if all goes well I will be starting school in August. However...this also means a reduction in income since I will obviously have to take time off work to attend class. Since my rent takes up all but $100 of a paycheck currently, I've been looking at downsizing. However...I have no idea what to do. With this new calling to teach and the primary pres telling me she had been praying for months to find someone good so she was soo happy when my name came to her thoughts and on and on....makes me wonder what I am meant to do. Taking care of my kids is obviously going to be first and foremost. But if I get into school I will qualify for $5500 grant per semester which would help the tail end expenses of not working full time...plus the addition of child support. I very well could make it work where I am at. But it would sure be nice to have a cheaper rent payment. On the flip side, if I don't get into school I STILL have the issue of my job ending soon and I know I won't be able to find another job as high paying as mine is. So I will still benefit from having a cheaper rent. However, the place I was looking to move has definite pros and cons.
Pros: The place is full of kids. Our back door walks right out to the playground, and there is a swimming pool and mini gym type thing. All very good emenities. Also, the rent is $140 cheaper, unless we wanted their cable which is only $25 per month so it would be $115 cheaper than where I am at. Not to mention it is literally directly behind my daycare facility, so I would save 15 minutes of morning commute time and 15-20 minutes of evening commute time and however much gas that is per day.
Cons: I'm prideful and spoiled. The place I'm in is rather nice, and its big. Its in a super nice community and we really like it. This new place...still a 3 bedroom but alot smaller. And outdated. And even with the perks and emenities, I feel like crying thinking of living there. There was an upper unit that was a little nicer, but the floors creaked and my kids would disturb the downstairs neighbors. So I'd have to move into the lower unit that is not remodeled. I was soo proud of myself when I was able to move out of the cockroach and mold filled horror zone into the nice, newer shiney place (without mold and cockroaches). I felt like I was finally doing okay and able to give my kids a nice place to live. Now...I feel like I'm digressing. Even though I know its for the better right now.
This sucks. I wish I knew what was the right option for me.
One last thing....
Last night we got home REALLY late but Tyler really wanted to read a scripture so he pulled out my bible and randomly picked a scripture. I really wish I would've paid attention to where it was but I didn't. In essence, it was talking about how the husband should treat the wife with respect and love, the wife should treat the husband with reverence, and they should in essence work together for an eternal future. And if the husband can't cleave unto his wife he should write her a "divorecement" which I thought was interesting. But I was more interested in the beginning part. This was after mom and I were talking about marriage and me being frustrated but feeling like a silly school girl for thinking about what my future wedding may be like. My son for some reason knew I needed to read those particular verses and get the message that I need to be patient for the right person to come along. Just another testimony builder that when we need to hear something....He provides the source if we are willing to listen.