Just as an FYI, this post is geared more towards the adult readers and is serving the purpose of a vent more than anything else.
Why...why oh why...is it that our society has taken such a relaxed stand on...lets put it as... "intimacy"? Anyone who knows me, has been a reader or read past posts knows I went through a heck of a time for a long time but realized that I wanted to better my life and started the long and hard journey to became worthy (via my religion) to get married in the temple. I stopped even talking to any male person who wasn't LDS (unless they are good friends who are truly just friends...grand total of 2 people). I have tried really hard to be prepared and ready. I still have a little ways to go until I'm all the way there, however I feel like I've come a long way.
So it is REALLY REALLY frustrating when I work soo hard to be a better person, knowing full well the selection of men would be slim but jaded in thought that they would have the same principles as me. I get my hopes up for a (rare) person I am talking to who claims to be actively LDS....shows interest....blah blah blah and then BAM the subject of intimacy comes up and EVERY SINGLE ONE I've talked to has the same opinion....its not really that bad...the need just can't be controlled so it's okay. You can always just repent later or get sealed later on. Especially the ones who have been divorced. Every single one has had the theory that because they were married previously and know what its all about...that for some reason gives them some sort of immunity towards the teachings of the gospel in regards to intimacy now that they are single again.
Am I missing something here? Is there a change in doctrine somewhere that says that it's only the young people who need to choose to be pure until marriage? That anyone who has been married and divorced has immunity in regards to staying pure?
Call me crazy (and I would've called myself crazy just a couple years ago to be honest) but waiting to share such a private and intimate experience with someone you have an eternal commitment with has become extremely important to me. So why do I feel completely alone in this thinking? Why is the matter of intimacy so nonchalant these days? It has made me pretty much all but give up hope...it seems that even the "good guys" have fallen prey to society's mindset of do what makes me happy now, not what will provide me the best life later on. Its depressing. Its frustrating. It makes me want to cry. I feel defeated.
What has brought this on you may ask? There have been a few recent experiences with "LDS" men... but more recently a debate tonight via one of my social media sites about this very topic.
Also...I've noted that when I get really frustrated, my filter comes off and I write exactly what my brain thinks. That probably isn't winning me any dates....however in the end I wouldn't want to date someone who didn't share the same morals and values as myself anyway...right? Unless that doctrine has changed. And if so, please someone let me know.
Ok thats all for now. Sorry for the rant, but I feel better now. Funny how writing does that.
Later.
I completely understand your frustration. I went through the same thing, many times. I spent 3 years unable to take the Sacrament, 1 of which in a full on repentance process. It was hard to find a decent guy that wanted to be good. Jarrod and I had our struggles, but we went thru the repentance process together, and were able to be sealed, rather than just married first, sealed later. Our bishops kept telling us just to get married and work on being sealed later, but we weren't having it that way. My SIL was divorced about 2 years into her marriage and when she started dating again, she was in your same boat. All the guys were naughty. She ended up moving to Utah, and found a really great guy. He may have had a past, but they were sealed in the Temple as well. There are still good guys out there, they are just hard to find and take a lot of patience. If you put it all in Heavenly Father's hands, and you do what you're supposed to do, blessings will be poured out upon you. Keep your head up, don't let little boys tear you down or make you feel that what you're doing is wrong.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you're not attracting the right kind of man because you're not as ready as you think you are. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteThank you Staci I needed that :) I know it will happen when the time is right and it is meant to be. Its just frustrating in the interm. Maybe moving to St George will help...new start and all. Lots of love :)
ReplyDelete