random

I am having a bit of a mental block today as to what I should write. I want to write something....I just dunno what. So I guess its one of those days I just type and see what comes of it.

I am starting to get more and more excited about my weight loss. I think the fear I had of losing weight is starting to subside. Yes...I had fear. I feared I'd have a fat tongue (like on Click, the extra skin that won't shrink) that people would realize I am fat (duh...cause thats not obvious at all), that I would fail, all sorts of random wierd things. But I'm getting over that now. I'm excited to start feeling good in my own skin finally. I'm also rather excited for Disneyland. My savings goals and my weight loss goals are NOT on track, but I'm working on it and I'm hoping things align a little better so that these can both be amped up. I have pretty much 2 1/2 months to get my butt in shape...and to get money saved up. Time to work on the discipline.

I have been struggling with how to offset what the boys are learning at their dads. Ty seems to be semi- immune to it all for now, but Nate has taken on some really bad habits that I need to curb. Attempting to curb them, however, is a hard thing to do. I guess just keep praying I'll figure something out and they won't be  too screwed up in the end. I do get to have them more often now though and that makes me happy.  Less time at their Dads house means more time in an (attempted) positive atmosphere.

Memorial day is coming and again I feel crappy that I don't have anywhere to memorialize Grayson. I guess we will see how the weekend goes. I'm excited I'll have my kiddos and look forward to having a good time, whatever we do.