Now on to my post.
I just want to clarify my views on love and relationships. I thought about this last night even before I got all the feedback, but the feedback also spurred my thought process even more. I am not jaded enough to think that having a loving relationship means 100% mushy stuff all the time. Relationships take work. A whole lot of work.
I have several great examples of relationships in my family and with my friends. The most significant relationship that I have been witness to is my parents.
|You can't tell me they aren't in love|
Growing up, I never saw my parents fight. Not once. Any disagreements they may have had they saved for when they were not in front of us kids. I did, however, see my dad sneak a kiss to my mom in the kitchen or catch them in a hug. And even better, when I would walk past there were many times they would grab me up and partake in a giant 3 way bear hug. I loved it. Sure they have their disagreements. They each do things that drive the other one crazy, but that doesn't make them love each other any less. Even now, after 30 some odd years of marriage (sorry Mom and Dad I can't remember how many exactly) I have seen their relationship grow stronger, not fall apart like so many these days. My Dad is respectful and supportive of my Mom. My Mom is respectful and supportive of my Dad. They work as a team to conquer the daily challenges and do what they can to boost each other up, not tear each other down.
I have been asked if my bar is set too high. Mostly by men who have tried to pursue me. And ya know, it's not. It has taken me a long time, but I am slowly realizing that I am a good person. I am special and I am a daughter of God, who loves me despite my faults and lifts me up when I'm down. I try to better myself every day. Does that always happen? No. But when I go to bed at night, I make the commitment to try again tomorrow and pray for guidance and support in doing so. I work hard to support my family and I try my very hardest to create a loving and supportive environment for my boys. And does that always happen? Nope. But again I go to bed at night and commit to be better, praying for the strength to carry on and stay strong.
That being said, I have learned that your quality of life is effected by the quality of people you choose to have in your life. So am I setting my bar too high? No. My boys will learn by example and if I want them to treat the women in their lives with love and respect, then I better be waiting for a man who can treat me with love and respect. If I want them to see what it means to treat your wife as a queen, then I better find a man who makes that a priority in his life. If I want my boys to see how a woman should treat a man, then I better be in a place where I can treat my husband as the head of the family, giving him the respect and support needed to fulfill that role. If I want my boys to learn how to deal with issues that may arise in their future relationships, then I better find a man who is willing to work with me as a team to resolve problems.
When I got married the first time, the man who married us had a very good piece of advice. Never, ever go to bed without telling your spouse that you love him/her and never go to bed mad. No fight is ever more important than your love for one another. And I agree 10000%. But in order for that to work, both people in the relationship need to have the mutual love and respect to do so. I truly believe that a relationship is what you make of it. So will I wait for the guy who is perfect for me? Most definitely. And if I don't find him in this life, I know that he will be waiting for me in the next, I just need to make sure that I am ready to receive him in my life.
Ok...that is that. Again I really REALLY appreciate all the feedback that I got from my last post. Truly. I do not get offended if your opinions aren't the same as mine, in fact hearing new opinions helps one to be able to form their own and adjust as needed. I love that you all are willing to share your advice/opinions/etc with me. Thank you for your love and support, it really does mean the world to me!